Clare's Collection of Unusual Tales and Pictures

[Dark One]

Burglar picks wrong victim

A Serbian prisoner who burgled a house during his weekend release picked the wrong victim - the prison governor.

He was caught out when he returned to prison - and the governor spotted his own watch on the convict's wrist.

Alija Cerimi stole jewellery, a watch and a mobile phone from the unnamed governor's house in the northern Serbian town of Sremska Mitrovica.

According to witnesses, the governor spotted Cerimi walking back into the prison waving a shiny silver watch and shouted: "That's mine, you thieving bastard."

Cerimi reportedly laughed and then held up the governor's mobile phone which he had also stolen, before being restrained by guards.

[Dark One]

Baby takes first steps and locks mum out of flat

A young mum was stranded on her balcony after her eight-month old baby took his first steps - and locked her out.

Christina Meier, 19, spent two hours on her balcony in Augsburg, Bavaria, before her calls for help were answered and firemen arrived to rescue her.

Meier told local media: "My son Karl is not yet a year old and could not walk so I thought it was safe to pop outside for a quick cigarette. Suddenly I heard these footsteps and I saw him walking towards me through the glass.

"I was so proud I didn't even think about the self-locking door. And then he just shut it."

[Dark One]

Britain's unluckiest man?

'Britain's unluckiest man' - who has suffered 16 major accidents - is laid up again after falling down a manhole.

John Lyne's misfortunes have included two lightning strikes, a rock-fall in a mine, nearly drowning and three car crashes.

Mr Lyne, 54, of Stainforth, near Doncaster, will be out of action for 32 weeks after his latest mishap, reports the Doncaster Free Press.

The accident damaged his back and injured his left leg and both knees - on top of a lifetime of broken bones.

Mr Lyne says he's not bitter - just glad to be alive.

"Everyone thinks it is just hilarious," he said. "My mates, family and wife Susan just laugh about it.

"I don't think there is any reason or explanation for it though, it has just happened really. I have to particularly be careful on the Friday 13ths, when a few accidents have fallen."

Mr Lyne's mishaps cover a lifetime. As a child, he fell off a horse and cart - only to be run over by a delivery van.

When he was a teenager, he broke his arm falling from a tree. On his way back from hospital, his bus crashed, breaking the same arm in another place. The date was Friday the 13th.

[Dark One]

Drunk student's Mway nightmare

A drunk student has been arrested after cycling two miles the wrong way down the fast lane of an Italian motorway.

The 22-year-old Spanish student was pulled over by traffic cops on a section of the Autostrada del Sole, near Parma.

The student, who police said was found to be more than four times over the legal drink driving limit, said he had no recollection of how he came to be there.

A police spokesman said: "He had a few near misses but we managed to get him off the motorway before there was a disaster."

The student has been charged with breaking road safety laws.

[Dark One]

Pop star's shock over sex toy request

Operatic boy band Il Divo star Sebastien Izambard says a female fan asked him to sign her vibrator.

The 32-year-old French singer admits he was staggered when the fan asked him to autograph the sex toy.

He said: "She said she gets frisky every time she sees my face. I was naive and didn't realise what it was until it started buzzing. I couldn't believe it. I didn't sign it."

[Dark One]

Woman's MySpace revenge

A woman got revenge on her cheating boyfriend by hijacking his MySpace page.

Sam Deakin found out Matt East, 25, was having an affair with one woman and trying to date another 20.

So she changed the welcome note on his page to say: "I'm a pathological liar. I cheat regularly."

She then mimicked the Mastercard TV commercial, reports the Sun.

She wrote: "Dinner in a posh restaurant...$100. Night in a top hotel...$200. Finding out your boyfriend is a lying scumbag and changing his MySpace page so everyone can see...PRICELESS."

She changed his password so he couldn't hack in and alter what she had done.

The site received more than 250,000 hits in five days with women slagging off Matt as a "total loser".

Mum-of-two Sam, a website designer from Bournemouth, Dorset, said: "I wanted to show him up for who he is."

Sam revealed he asked one girl: "You, me, handcuffs, whipped-cream. How about it?"

The site has been closed by MySpace.

Matt, of Bournemouth, said: "I admit I cheated. I'm just a man."

[Dark One]

'Pregnant' man in trouble

A South African man is in trouble after he faked a sick note which said he needed time off work because he was pregnant.

Magistrates in Vereeniging, near Johannesburg, fined Charles Sibindana, 27, £70 for the forgery, reports the Sapa agency.

Sibindana stole a medical certificate from a health centre used by his pregnant girlfriend, but was apparently unaware only women consulted gynaecologists.

Magistrate Bruno Van Eeden jokingly warned Sibindana "not to walk around faking sick letters from gynaecologists".

[Dark One]

Speeding couple given toy

A German couple caught speeding on their way to give birth were given a toy for their new baby instead of a ticket.

Barbara and Johann Meyer, from Wachtberg, initially received a ticket after a speed camera photographed them breaking the speed limit.

But when they told authorities that they were on their way to hospital where Barbara gave birth to their first baby, police cancelled the fine.

Instead, they sent them a toy police officer in uniform - holding a speed camera.

Police also recommended the Meyers put the original speeding camera image into their son's first photo album.

[Dark One]

Woman received dad's body in post

A Romanian woman was sent the body of her dead father in the post after a cemetery was sold to developers.

Aurelia Cenusa, from Severin, says clergy in her father's hometown of Darvari, 300 miles away, told her the graveyard his body had been buried in was to be sold and his body exhumed.

She said she thought the priest was joking when he told her to come and collect her father Rafaila Cojocaru's remains - or receive them in the post.

Cenusa said: "I had entered a lottery a few weeks ago and when I got the large parcel I thought I had won something.

"Instead I opened it up to find a banana crate containing the bones of my dead father. You could still even see bits of his funeral suit even though he died 16 years ago.

"I told the priest to sell my father's grave and I expected the Church would bury him somewhere else. I had no idea he was being serious when he told me I would be getting the skeleton through the post if I didn't come. It's outrageous."

She added that she intended to sue church officials. Local police have launched an investigation.

[Dark One]

Big bird rips off trousers

A German policeman had his trousers ripped off after he tried to arrest a giant emu.

The emu had been pestering passers by at a park in Kaarst, western Germany.

A day later a three foot red and green parrot ripped the arm off a policeman's jacket when he tried to grab it after it was spotted screeching at hikers in a forest at Wallduern in southwestern Germany.

Both birds are being held by police while they search for the owners.

[Dark One]

Driver survives 700ft fall

A Croatian man escaped almost unhurt after crashing 700ft down the side of a canyon in his car and landing in a tree.

Cedo Jerbic was left with only a few bruised ribs after losing control of his Skoda Octavia on the Velebit mountain, driving off the road into a canyon.

His car hit the rock wall of the deep gully twice before getting caught in the branches of a tree on the canyon floor 700ft below.

Jerbic used his mobile phone to call rescue services who pulled him out of the car. Doctors who examined him said that apart from bruising to his chest he was unhurt.

Jerbic told them that he had been wearing his seatbelt and during the fall the car's airbags had inflated, protecting him from serious injury.

[Dark One]

Scared to death by fairies

Four people buried 450 years ago had been scared to death - by fairies.

According to the burial register for the parish of Lamplugh in Cumbria between 1656 to 1663 seven people were also 'bewitched'.

And one was led to a pond to drown by a will o' the wisp - a ghostly light.

Archivist Anne Rowe said: "I've never come across anything like this.

"These were insecure social times and many folk in the 17th century would have been scared of fairies and will o' the wisps with many a natural death being put down to the evil witchcraft of a harmless old widow."

The manuscript was found in Whitehaven during a national local history campaign.

Ms Rowe said the document was genuine but might not be "entirely serious."

According to the Sun she added: "I'm not sure whether to attribute this list to our ancestors' superstitions - or sense of humour!"

[Dark One]

Man stopped to smoke crack during police chase

A US thief was arrested after he repeatedly stopped during a police pursuit to smoke crack.

Police say the man, 45, from Stratford, Connecticut, had been driving a stolen car in Bridgeport.

The chase began after he attempted to pay for petrol with cards belonging to the car owner.

With police on their way, he abandoned the car and ran off on foot, reports the Connecticut Post.

After climbing over a fence, he stopped to smoke crack before running off again, officers say.

He headed off through the local seaport, and went to stand on a boat - where he had another crack break.

The man was still on the boat smoking crack when officers apprehended him.

[Dark One]

Boy, 12, becomes barman

A 12-year-old has become the youngest barman in the country.

Chris Hardacre's father Chris is licensee of the Star in Doncaster.

Chris has just passed his National Licensees' licensing certificate after studying for only a few weeks and is now qualified to serve behind the bar - with adult supervision.

According to the BBC, Chris said: "I just like being around the pub. It's a good atmosphere and the people are nice.

"I thought it would be a good idea to study all about it."

His father said: "He studied the law and spent three weeks revising before the exam - and passed."

[Dark One]

Man shoots himself with crossbow

A man is recovering after shooting himself with his own crossbow.

Weapons collector Steve Samson, from Rochford, Essex, was cleaning the crossbow when the aluminium arrow speared seven inches into his body.

The 2ft arrow narrowly escaped his vital organs.

According to the Sun, Steve said: "It's just about the most stupid thing I've done in my life. It is very sore."

[Dark One]

Tramp lived in loft

A York woman called in a plumber to check her noisy heating system - and found a tramp living in her attic.

Natalie Summers asked the workman to check the pipes after hearing creaking sounds above her flat for weeks.

When the plumber opened the loft hatch he found a tramp wrapped in a duvet staring down at him. The man leapt out and ran off.

Natalie, 27, said: "It's scary. I've seen a film where a nutter lived in the attic and attacked the family. I never imagined the noise was caused by someone up there.

"All the man had to do was shift a couple of loose bricks and he could have spied on us. It makes me feel sick."

Natalie lives on the top floor of a block of flats with her son, aged seven, and 14-month-old daughter.

The loft hatch is above the communal landing.

Council chiefs said: "We made sure there was no one else up there."

Other residents have since boarded up the loft.

[Dark One]

Woman, 120, smokes pot every day

A woman claims she has lived to be 120 - by smoking cannabis every day.

Fulla Nayak smokes cannabis cigars and drinks strong palm wine in her hut in India.

She lives with her 92-year-old daughter and grandson, 72.

According to the Sun, she said: "I don't know how I've survived so long. Many relatives much younger than me have died."

[Dark One]

Boy, 4, attacks armed robber with toy sword

A four-year-old changed into his Power Ranger costume and attacked when his family were held up by an armed robber.

Stevie Long sneaked out of the room while a robber was pointing a gun at his five-year-old sister Mary and mum Jennifer.

Minutes later, he leapt back into the room dressed as a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger, reports the News and Observer.

"Get away from my family," he shouted, swinging his plastic sword and shouting "yah, yah."

The robber and his accomplice, who was waiting outside the apartment, fled with credit cards, jewellery, and cash.

"I scared the bad guys away," Stevie said later at the apartment in Durham, North Carolina.

Police say the two armed men had approached Jennifer Long's boyfriend and his son outside the apartment.

One of them pushed the son back into the apartment where he forced Jennifer, Stevie and Mary, a cousin and two other children to the floor at gunpoint.

Relatives said the robber abandoned plans to take Stevie's mother to a cashpoint to withdraw money when he saw Stevie.

Stevie's aunt, Heather Evans, said a counsellor had suggested Stevie needs to improve his distinction between fantasy and reality: "He fully believed he morphed," she added.
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[Dark One]

Pink lights 'couldcut crime'

Pink lighting may be introduced in towns in Lancashire in a bid to stop teenagers committing crime.

Besides creating a calming atmosphere, the pink lights also show up spots on the skin.

Police spokesman Insp John Ainsworth hopes the lights could lead to a drop in anti-social behaviour.

He wants to put the lights in well-known local trouble spots in Preston, reports the BBC.

Insp Ainsworth said: "Pink lighting will make a difference to some people - perhaps not the hardcore element.

"It is one of a range of measures that we are thinking of using across the region."

[Dark One]

'Blind' man took over from drunk driver

A virtually blind New Zealand man has been banned from driving after taking the wheel from a drink driver.

Te Aute Matuakore Collier, 29, from Hamilton, was guided by a drunk passenger but crashed into a wall, reports Stuff.co.nz.

Collier, who has just five per cent sight, admitted a charge of reckless driving when he appeared in the Hamilton District Court.

He had been in the back of the car when he told the driver to pull over so he could drive because both the driver and front-seat passenger were drunk.

The front-seat passenger helped steer the car and both passengers told Collier to turn into a supermarket carpark.

Collier told police he just wanted to park the vehicle and get it off the road - but he missed the entrance and hit a wall.

He was disqualified from driving for two years and ordered to pay court costs.

[Dark One]

Revealed - the perfect woman (and man)

The perfect woman is a curvy, brunette nurse from Sheffield, according to a new survey.

And the ideal man is a Newcastle doctor with a good sense of humour and an eye for a cashmere sweater.

The study of 4,000 people, commissioned for Grazia magazine, which asked what constituted the 'ultimate' man and woman.

It revealed that men are more attracted to "curvy" rather than skinny women, and prefer brunettes with "long, wavy hair".

More than three-quarters of men see a "friendly smile" as the most attractive feature in a woman and most see cooking as the interest they find most attractive.

Meanwhile, nine out of ten women look for a man who can make her laugh and 73% want someone who will "automatically" pay for a meal.

The survey also found men care more about the sexual history of a potential partner than women do.

More than half of all women said they did not care how many previous sexual partners a man had but only 29% of men said it was not an issue.

But it seems children from earlier relationships do cause a problem for women with a huge 97% of females finding them a turn-off.

[Dark One]

Hole in plane - fixed with teapot

An RAF crew used a teapot to block a hole in a plane.

The Nimrod crew were trying to release a sonar buoy into the sea at 8,000ft when a metal plate failed to open fully.

The crew ended up covering the hole with the teapot, reports the Mirror.

The Nimrod, which was on an operational flight, had taken off from Cornwall and was on its way back to base in Kinloss, Moray, when the problem occurred.

Master aircrew Neil Campbell, of 201 Squadron at RAF Kinloss, said: "It was a simple case of covering up a hole to stop the wind whistling in. It had no safety implications and really is a storm in a teapot."

An RAF spokeswoman added: "There was a minor malfunction with the hatch cover. The teapot was used to make it more comfortable for the crew."

[Dark One]

Car notches up million miles

A US man has given his car to a museum - after clocking up a million miles.

Peter Gilbert treated himself to his Saab 900 SPG after getting divorced 17 years ago, reports the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

It notched up 1,001,385 miles and survived eight deer collisions before it was parked for the last time at the Wisconsin Automotive Museum in Hartford.

"I couldn't kill that many deer with a gun," said Gilbert, a financial services salesman from Glendale.

"When I hit 600,000 miles, the car still wasn't burning oil. That's when I thought it could go a million miles," Gilbert said.

He says turning over the car's keys to the museum was like putting an elderly family member in a nursing home.

"But I know where the car is, and I can visit," he said. "And before I took her to the museum, I had a full detail job done.

"She was like a bride getting ready for her wedding. It was the first time that her carpets were thoroughly cleaned in 17 years."

Gilbert has since bought another Saab - with a few less miles on the clock.

[Dark One]

Bush's daughter's phone on 'eBay'

A mobile phone stolen from President Bush's daughter was reportedly put up for sale on an internet auction site.

The phone was put up for sale on website Mercado Libre with a starting price of about £160, reports Terra.cl.

The advert on the website - the Argentinian equivalent of eBay - claimed: "Barbara Bush's mobile, an amazing possibility.

"It has George Bush's private number plus Michael Jackson's, Madonna's, Paris Hilton and Ozzy Osbourne's."

The phone, also said to have had numbers for the White House, Pentagon, FBI, CIA, and the IMF, was quickly removed from the website.

Barbara Bush's purse was snatched at a Buenos Aires restaurant during a night on the town in November.

[Dark One]

Girl sleepwalks out of loft

A nine-year-old girl went sleepwalking - and fell 30ft from her bedroom window.

Jasmine Clark, from Scarborough, N Yorks, suffered minor injuries after landing on an old carpet her dad had dumped on the driveway.

Jasmine was sleeping in her newly-converted loft bedroom for the first time when the incident happened.

Her dad, Dave Clark, told the Sun: "It's a miracle she wasn't seriously injured or even killed.

"I think the angels must have been looking over her that night."