Clare's Collection of Unusual Tales and Pictures

[Dark One]

Convict posts himself to freedom

A prisoner wrapped himself in a large parcel and posted himself to freedom from a jail in Austria.

Bosnian Muradif Hasanbegovic, 36, was serving a seven-year sentence for robbery in the Karlau prison, near Graz.

He escaped from the workshop where he helped package and post parts for lampposts.

The man packed himself up in a parcel, and other convicts loaded him onto a lorry. Once clear of the prison he broke out of the parcel, jumped off the back of the lorry and fled.

The lorry driver told police: "I noticed the tarpaulin had a hole in it just as the prison called me and asked 'Have you noticed anything funny? We are kind of missing a prisoner'."

Prison warden Franz Hochstrasser said: "This sort of thing was not supposed to happen. Guards need to count prisoners at the end of working hours. We are investigating the case."

Hasanbegovic is still on the run.

[Dark One]

Dead dog gets army call up

The German Army has called up a dead dog for national service.

Helga Koehlke, 53, from Rostock, Northern Germany, received an official army letter demanding that her pet Pekingese Tommy Jakob, who passed away in 2002, report for a military medical examination with his ID card and a pair of swimming shorts.

She said: "I thought it was a joke but then I saw the official stamp. But I'm sure it must have been a mistake as little Tommy Jakob would have been no good in the army because he was almost completely blind."

Officials says Mrs Koehlke received the letter as part of an office mix-up.

[Dark One]

Prisons to repaint fences

Prisons across the country are to repaint their fences green - so inmates don't feel "trapped."

Prison bosses say the old white or grey fences make criminals feel claustrophobic.

They believe if the fences are painted dark green they will blend with the countryside and give lags a sense of the outside world.

The Prison Service's "Sustainable Development Report" also calls for new windows to be fitted so cells are less draughty.

The report also suggest installing wind turbines and solar panels to make jails environmentally friendly.

According to the Mirror Harry Fletcher, of the National Association of Probation Officers, said: "It is ridiculous to repaint fences when they cannot afford enough of us to interview prisoners before their release."

[Dark One]

Men's tackle given a lift

An Australian company has produced the men's equivalent of the Wonderbra.

The Wondercup range of underwear is designed to enhance the apparent size of a man's tackle.

Aussiebum creator Sean Ashby told the Sydney Morning Herald: "It basically lifts, separates and extends."

He added: "This design uses all of the natural assets of the person, whether they be big, small or indifferent."

The underwear range includes the "wondercup," a pouch used to "separate and stop squashing."

[Dark One]

Police seize toilet art

A toilet which flushes to the sound of Italy's national anthem has been impounded by police.

It was on display at the Bolzano Museum of Modern Art and was the work of two local artists.

Prosecutors say the Fratelli d'Italia anthem is a national emblem which should be protected.

Defence barristers for the museum argue that while the anthem has patriotic and sentimental value, it is not a national symbol.

A judgement is due later this week.

Arguments will then begin over whether the case marks a precedent - or whether it's just a flash in the pan.

[Dark One]

Teacher in sticky spot

A Romanian nursery school teacher is in trouble after covering kids' mouths with sticky tape to make them stop talking.

Teacher Cristiana Buruiana, who works at Kindergarten No. 4 in Bucharest, may lose her job after an internal investigation is finished.

After being caught on film with a hidden camera, she admitted using this method on children who were disturbing lessons.

She said: "Those kids just wouldn't stop talking so I had to do something to save the class.

"I understand now it might look a little too tough and I am sorry for what I did."

Kindergarten head Adriana Stefanescu accused the teacher of 'mental mutilation' of the pupils and recommended her for suspension.

[Dark One]

House fire? Grab a donkey...

A fire safety leaflet translated from English to Urdu advises people to grab the nearest donkey when escaping from a building.

Strathclyde Fire and Rescue produced the leaflet for ethnic communities across Scotland, reports the Mirror.

The English text on the leaflet reads: "Never jump straight out of a window, lower yourself on to cushions etc."

But when translated into Urdu says: "Never jump out of a window straight. Put yourself on a donkey etc and come down."

Teacher Ilfan Malik explained: "The Urdu word for cushion is gadda. But the word for donkey is gadha.

"It appears whoever translated the leaflet has mixed the two words up or the spelling has been printed wrongly."

A Strathclyde Fire and Rescue spokesman said: "A replacement leaflet will be distributed soon."

[Dark One]

Chippy warned over fish and chip smell

The owner of a chippy is being investigated because his shop smells of fish and chips.

Environmental health officials in Wakefield wrote to Steve Morton to say they were investigating an "odour from the extract ventilation system."

The Sun says he was stunned to be told: "We are investigating a smell of fish and chips."

Steve has run the New Scarborough Fisheries in Wakefield, West Yorks, for four years but the chip shop has been operating for 40 years.

He said: "You'd think they'd twig that a fish and chip shop smells of fish and chips. It's absolutely crazy."

Steve added: "The smell of freshly fried fish and chips is wonderful. My equipment works properly. Does the council want me to pay someone to stand outside with an air freshener? This is a waste of time and money."

A council spokesman said: "We have a duty to investigate complaints."

[Dark One]

Dog hops on bus to go to pub

A dog owner is having to chain up his pet to stop him hopping on to the bus and going to the pub.

Gary Kay's terrier Ratty regularly got on the bus on his own to go to the Black Bull pub, in Hull Road, York.

Ratty made the trip to the pub, where he was fed sausages by a barmaid, twice a week, reports the York Post.

His outings came to an end when the pub went upmarket and banned animals from the premises.

But now Gary, from Dunnington, York, says Ratty has found a new local - the Rose And Crown Pub, in Lawrence Street.

He believes Ratty has been getting off the bus at the Black Bull on his own, crossing the road and turning up at the Rose and Crown.

"I've had to start chaining him up because, although he can get to the pub on his own he can't get home," said Gary.

"I've no idea how he is doing any of this or how he crosses the road. This dog just has a mind of his own."

[Dark One]

Bee thieves stage sting

Thieves broke into a garden and stole £900 worth of bees in what police described as a professional sting.

Officers in Mettmann, western Germany, said the raid was highly professional and involved breaking through a section of a thick stone garden wall.

Six entire hives were removed - with thousands of bees still inside.

Cops say they do not know how many people were involved in the theft or how they managed to transport the bees away from the garden but it is likely that the thieves were bee experts.

[Dark One]

Polish worker sleeps at wrong house

A man from Sthingyhorpe rolled over in his bed to discover a Polish workman in place of his wife.

Graham Handley's wife Linda had gone into their eight-year-old son Adam's room because he was having trouble sleeping. She had nodded off there while Graham slept in their bed.

His sleep was disturbed by the sound of someone getting under the covers and he muttered a greeting to Linda.

But he leapt out of bed when the reply was a deep baritone and in a foreign tongue.

The Polish worker went straight to sleep and would not move even when police arrived.

It is believed the exhausted immigrant worker who lived in a neighbouring street got confused after a late shift.

He walked into the Handley home through an unlocked back door, took off his shoes, ate a large chocolate cake from the kitchen and then went to sleep in Graham's bed.

According to the Mirror, Graham, 45, said: "He wouldn't get up for anyone. He told the police to go away and they were standing there laughing. Then a big burly officer came and took him downstairs."

Linda said: "Graham woke me up and said there was a man in bed with him. I thought he was dreaming and told him not to be stupid."

Police said a 25-year-old man had been cautioned.

[Dark One]

OAP's U-turn causes nine crashes

A pensioner caused nine separate crashes after executing a U-turn on a German motorway.

Ingrid Schoppenhauer, 76, caused £35,000 of damage along the A9 Autobahn as drivers piled into each other.

She calmly explained to officers that she had been trying to get to the Bavarian city of Bayreuth but had taken a wrong turn and got on the A9 Autobahn heading towards Berlin.

She said she wanted to get off the motorway as quickly as possible and decided to do a U-turn and head back to the correct exit.

No one was seriously injured in the accidents but police confiscated the woman's licence.

[Dark One]

'Bumfire' night stunt backfires

A soldier is being treated for his injuries after setting off a firework between his buttocks.

The 22-year-old, who told pals he was “bored” with a fireworks display, copied the stunt from the Jackass movie.

He dropped his trousers, and slipped a powerful Black Cat Thunderbolt between the cheeks of his backside.

A friend set the firework alight and the soldier bent over as the firework exploded in a shower of sparks.

Laughing witnesses at the Sunderland event filmed the episode on a video phone not realising their mate was badly hurt.

The soldier, who had recently returned from a tour of duty in Iraq, ended up in Sunderland Royal Hospital where he is being treated for a scorched colon and other injuries.

John Woodhead, chairman of the Firework Association, said that he had never heard of an incident like it in 45 years.

Mr Woodhead added: “This sort of thing is beyond belief. We have spent a long time working with the Government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public. This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one.”

[Dark One]

Man addicted to funerals

A Brazilan man has revealed he is addicted to funerals.

Luis Squarisi, 42, from Batatais, has attended every single funeral in his town for the past 20 years and has quit his job to be able to feed his addiction.

He told EPTV: "What set me off was my father's death in 1983.

"The first thing I do every morning is to turn on the radio to find out if anyone has died, if I don't hear it on the radio I call the hospitals and the local funeral home."

A spokesperson for local funeral home, São Vicente, said: "We dont want him to go to therapy, everyone expects to see him at the funerals.

"If he stopped coming he would be missed and lots of people would be disapointed, he is famous already."

[Dark One]

'Grilled surgeon' on menu

Pigeon's milk is one of the desserts on offer at a Latvian restaurant, a list of badly translated menus shows.

According to the Mirror, the menu also offers a main course of "grilled surgeon".

Travel Trade Gazette has collected confused hotel notices and menus that holidaymakers have spotted.

A Polish offers "roasted duck let loose, beef rashers beaten in the country people's fashion".

A Travel Trade Gazette spokesman said: "Guests in some countries need a cast-iron disposition to eat out."

A hotel in the former Yugoslavia advised guests: "Flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

And a Japanese public bath warned guests "not to pull c0ck in tub".

While a Thai hotel told guests "do not bring solicitors into your room".

[Dark One]

Nail in the brain isn't such a pain

An Austrian carpenter accidentally shot a four inch nail into his brain and didn't even get a headache.

Tom Schoenitz, 30, was working on a roof in Salzburg when he bumped into a colleague who was holding a nail gun.

His head knocked against the gun and the pressure accidentally activated it - shooting a nail through the carpenter's skull and into his brain.

Schoenitz, who told emergency workers he felt no pain, was rushed to hospital where the nail was removed after being embedded in his head for 90 minutes.

Doctors said they are running tests on the man to find out whether there has been any damage to his brain.

Dr. Alois Karlbauer from Salzburg hospital said: "The man was very lucky to survive."

[Dark One]

Queen finds masterpiece in storeroom

The Queen has found a priceless Caravaggio masterpiece in a storeroom.

Experts say The Calling of Saints Peter and Andrew would be worth at least £50 million if it ever came on the market.

It has been owned by the Royal Family for almost 400 years, but lay undiscovered in a storeroom at Hampton Court for decades.

Misattributed as a copy of a Caravaggio by an unknown hand, it was valued in thousands rather than millions, reports the Daily Telegraph.

The Royal Collection, whose experts have spent the last six years restoring the work, say it is one of only around 50 surviving canvases by the Italian master.

"I am convinced it is by Caravaggio," Desmond Shawe-Taylor, Surveyor of the Queen's Pictures, said. "We are extremely excited, it's the most important discovery in the collection in the last decade."

[Dark One]

Girl swallows toothbrush

A Romanian teenager may need surgery after she swallowed her toothbrush.

The 15-year-old girl, named only as Adreea V from Falticeni, in Suceava county, went to A&E saying she had accidentally swallowed the tootbrush.

However, her friend told doctors she swallowed the toothbrush while imitating some 'extreme' moves she saw in adult movies.

The toothbrush showed up in an X-ray in the girl's stomach.

Doctors say if the toothbrush does not come out "naturally" they will have to operate.

[Dark One]

Devon claims 'Cornish' pasty

A war of words has broken out between Devon and Cornwall over who invented the 'Cornish' pasty.

It comes after a 500-year-old document discovered in Devon was hailed as the earliest pasty recipe on record.

The recipe is dated 1510 - some 236 years before the first Cornish written reference to pasties, reports the Mirror.

Dr Todd Gray, chairman of the Friends of Devon's Archives, who found the recipe, said: "It has been a great joy for me to have discovered that pasties may have originated in Devon and spread to Cornwall later."

But Les Merton, author of the Official Encyclopedia of the Cornish Pasty, said pasty recipes had been handed down by word-of-mouth in Cornwall since 8,000BC.

"One theory in parts of Cornwall is that it went back to the beginning of time - well almost," he said.

[Dark One]

Kicking up a stink

A US family is suing Greyhound after the contents of a bus toilet were dumped through their open car sunroof.

Robert and Angela Stokes and their three children, aged nine, ten and 22, were covered with faeces, urine and toilet paper, reports the Toledo Blade.

The family, from Ottawa County, Ohio, were returning from a Mother's Day meal out at a Toledo restaurant when it happened.

They were following a Greyhound bus on an interstate highway when the contents of the bus's sanitary tank were suddenly dumped on their 4x4 vehicle.

The waste went through the open windows and sunroof of their Ford Explorer, drenching all five family members.

"My client was driving in heavy traffic. They had nowhere to go. What can you do?'' said Robert Bryce, an attorney for the family.

Despite being covered with waste, Mr. Stokes followed the bus to obtain its identification information and registration number.

The Stokes are seeking more than £150,000 damages from Greyhound for damage to the vehicle and their clothing, plus medical treatment and testing for infectious diseases.

Mr. Bryce said the Stokes' vehicle was declared a total loss by their insurance company because the stench and filth couldn't be removed, even though the interior was steam-cleaned several times.

Greyhound declined to comment.

[Dark One]

A pubic service

A New York firm is making waves in the beauty world with its new range of pubic hair dyes.

Betty Beauty, which bills its products as 'colour for the hair down there', has been featured on television and in magazines such as Vogue.

Founder Nancy Jarecki came up with the idea when she was living in Rome three years ago, reports Advertising Age.

She noticed as women left the salon, the colourist would discreetly slip them little brown bags.

"They would receive it with such delight, kiss kiss, and away they would go," she said.

Curious, she asked the receptionist what the women were getting in those little bags and was told "to match down there."

"I thought: 'Of course, who wouldn't want to be a true blonde?'" Ms Jarecki said.

So she worked with a chemist and toxicologist to develop a gentle, no-drip formulation and speciality application tools.

Betty Beauty is now sold in five colours - Brown Betty, Blonde Betty, Auburn Betty, Black Betty and Fun Betty (bright pink) - priced at about £10 a box.

Bettybeauty.com also sells T-shirts that ask: "Is your betty ready?" And the firm says its products are not just aimed at women.

"Men can be betties, too," Ms. Jarecki said.

[Dark One]

Lost masterpieces found in OAP's spare room

Two small paintings in the spare room of an Oxford pensioner turned out to be missing medieval masterpieces worth over £1 million.

They are thought to be long-lost pieces from the altarpiece of the church and convent of St Marco in Florence, painted in 1439 by Fra Angelico.

It was one of the glories of the Italian Renaissance but was broken up during the Napoleonic wars, reports The Times.

Six of the eight small paintings that surrounded the main panel had been found but the location of the last two was one of art's greatest mysteries.

The mystery has been solved at the home of Jean Preston, 77, a retired academic who died this year.

Miss Preston lived modestly, bought her clothes from a catalogue, ate frozen meals and travelled by bus, but she always rather liked the small paintings hanging in her spare room.

She originally bought them as a present for her father in the early 1960s while she was working in America. She is believed to have paid no more than £200 for the pair.

She inherited them after his death in 1974 but it was not until shortly before her own death that she discovered the secret of the modest portraits of two saints in medieval clothing.

They were identified by Michael Liversidge, a family friend and former head of the History of Art department at the University of Bristol.

Mr Liversidge, who will deliver a lecture on the find at the British Institute in Florence, said: "When I told the lady the news she was more interested than anything else and was pleased that her 'eye' had been correct. It was pleasing that she found out what they were before she died."

The paintings are to be sold at Duke's in March when their value will become apparent.

[Dark One]

'Man flu' really exists

'Man flu' - the psychological condition by which men claim to suffer more from colds than women - really exists, according to a new poll.

Males take more time off work than women with colds they think are flu, reports the Daily Mirror.

They also moan more, fork out more on remedies and 82% stay in bed until they feel better.

The survey of 2,000 people found 64% of men thought they had flu and took a day off compared with 45% of women.

But according to Prof Ron Eccles of the Common Cold Centre, Cardiff University, it is women who get ill more.

He said: "This is because women have more contact with children - normally the main source of infection."

The poll for Nuts magazine found men take three days to recover and women half that time. November is said to be the worst month for 'man flu' - with one in six suffering.

[Dark One]

Air guitarists get to play music

Scientists have created a T-shirt that allows air guitarists to play music - without using a real guitar.

The top has motion sensors built into its elbows that pick up the individual's movements and relay them to a computer which interprets them as guitar riffs.

One arm is interpreted as picking chords while the other strums, reports BBC online.

Richard Helmer, from the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation in Australia, said: "It's an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music-making - even by players without significant musical or computing skills.

"It allows you to jump around and the sound generated is just like an original mp3."

[Dark One]

Gynaecologist must pay child support

A German doctor has been ordered to pay child support to a patient who got pregnant with a contraceptive implant.

The precedent-setting ruling by Germany's Federal Court gives both parents, who are not married, the right to receive child support from the doctor until their son reaches adulthood.

The unnamed gynaecologist from Suedbaden inserted a contraceptive implant into the arm of the woman in 2002. But the woman later found she was pregnant after it was too late for an abortion.

The woman, 25, also unnamed for legal reasons, took the gynaecologist to court, claiming she was unable to continue her work as a kindergarten teacher and could not support herself and the child.

Germany's highest court has now demanded the gynaecologist pay the equivalent of around £400 a month until the child turns 18.

Justice Gerda Mueller of the Federal Court refused to take into consideration the fact that the woman has had a second child since she filed the original complaint.

Justice Mueller said: "The existence of the child is not a damage in itself, but the need to support it financially is."