loneliness

[Lix]

i had friends but i lost them better that i didnt have them in the first place!!

[Glynnavyre]

This is a really sad thread... I hope people are feeling alright!?

It's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all...
There is always somebody out there who will be your friend... even when you feel deserted and lonely!

[Lix]

u obviously havent gone thru losing them and them being really nasty to you in poublci and them making you cry on your birthday so you go home at 9pm when you meant to be out all night etc

[Min]

I can relate to this with boyfriends.
It would be far better to never love and never lose someone than have them tear your heart out. I don't care what the world says (in better to love and lost then never love at all) - it's bollucks. There's a load of heartbreak in my life that I can't see any good in, and will never learn anything from - things like emotional manipulation, betrayal and such.
However I'm a bit of a hypocrite in saying that now - though Paul insists he wants to help me through it, I feel really bad dumping emotional stuff on him so I keep it to a minimum (only when HE brings it up).

In the case of friends...I went travelling for a year to Britain with my two best friends (who were twins), and one of them started being totally derogatory to me once she got under a bit of stress. We ended up having a huge screaming match and I split off from them, moved to Edinburgh and started having the time of my life meeting new people. Despite the years I spent being their best friend, I don't regret our parting once bit. People always change, and not the same combination of people will always fit together.

Lix, if your ex-friends are being total morons in public to you, however much it hurts on the inside, ignore them externally. They will look like fools. And they'll stop being morons once they realise they can't get a reaction out of you. But I know it does hurt a lot.

[Glynnavyre]

Your right I've never lost friends before or had anybody publically humiliate me before... But I do remember when I first moved to Brisbane at the start of High school and could make friends with anybody. I was that silly geek who went to the library in breaks to get away from the pain I felt from not have friends... I suppose thats where I'm coming from...

And Min... I never had my heartbroken or torn out of my chest cause I've never had a boyfriend before... 20 years old and never loved or been loved... So I cannot at all imagine what it feels like to loose love...

Maybe It's just that I've never feel like i've lived before either... so I just imagine that having something you want SO bad and loosing cannot be as bad as never having experienced it...

[Min]

Ah ok. I guess in the end "ignorance is bliss". I'd prefer to not know what I know now - but there's no way to lose my past experiences. I dunno, this is getting emotional so I'm going to stop.

[Miska]

i still think it is best to have friends. no matter wat they do in the end they shape u when u are freinds/no them. and everythin they do helps u in the end. cos u realise how u have changed and grown in relation to them. u also figure out who u want to be and how u can be that way. plus friends are refference points to ur life...life would be very borin with out them..that goes for guys too...it always hurts in teh end, but its worth it. every bit of havin ur heart torn into millions of poeces and thrown away like its someones disgustin trash...

[Lix]

ah min men suck!
they take ur heart and then jump all over it! and then noone understands why u have so much difficulty pulling yourself together again

grr stupid male species

[Emerald]

I lost someone who was supposedly my "best friend" but i was lucky enough to have other friends to fall back on (one of the benifits of being in a large friendship group i suppose).. Anyway - i thought we were best friends and then one day some stupid guy got into her email account and threatened to send this "bad email" out. Me being her best friends asked her what the email was about and she told me to my face that it was a bit-chy email about me which she had sent to one of my other firends... Now I was angry at first - but i got over it and wanted to make up with her and we did for a while but then she found out that i was writting a story for english about Netball which she was doing as well and that just made her angry all over again. See she had this problem with us being so alike that she thought i was copying her in everything (which wasn't true ofcouse - we were just interested in all the same things). I tried to sort it out - even got the school councellor to talk to us, but nope she didn't want anything to do with it, so i never talked ot her again... for over 2 years of highschool we were still both in the same group but we just never talked to each other at all...

So then at the end of 2002 i moved to melboune leaving behind all my friends... i thought it was going to be bad at first but once i had made some new friends at uni it got better - and i never realised how stressed i was in queensland by the group of friends i had... its so good to have friends where there is no bit-ching and backstabbing...

ohh - and i think it would be better to have had friends and lost them, then to have never have had any at all - I had great times with my friend before we stopped talking... and although the experience was horrible - i wouldn't change it... (well i probably would change how I handelled everything but not the years of friendship we did have)

[Lauren Hedgehog]

this is a sad thread

but i've been really lucky friend-wise i've kept one best friend since pre-school and i'm now at uni and my other best friend i've known since childhood although i didn't see her again 'till gr 8. Also i've never had a boyfriend so i've never had my heart broken, which since watching what my friends go through is probably a good thing, although i do feel a bit jealous sometimes when i see how much fun they have together. So I'm not sure about the whole "better to have loved and lost etc." thing but i wouldn't give my friends up for anything ;D

lauren hedgehog

[Dameon]

Well, I voted better never to have had friends at all. I have been completely torn apart by someone I thought was my best friend, and it's happened more than once, so I'm rather bitter.

And you don't have to have a boyfriend to have your heart broken. The guy that broke my heart made a point of not being my boyfriend! That's what hurt so much!!!

I'm going to stop now, because I don't want to talk about it

KSL

[~Ethereal~]

Well, I voted for having no friends. 'Cause I've been there, and it sucked. Although it was in that state that my love of books grew, so that was worthwhile. But I've also been betrayed and backstabbed by friends more times that I can count,a nd I forgave them every time to go through it all again. But I still think it was worth it. Because there are good times. And I've got my best friend who I wouldn't trade for anything. She'd been hurt way too many tiems,and hated the world. She wouldn't trust anyone, and it took me a long time to work my way into her heart, but now she trusts me with everything. And no matter what else happens, neither one of us would trade the expericences we've had.
And I've fallen in love and had my heart broken too. I'd barely even had a crush before my first boyfriend and first love when I was 17. So, when he broke up with me after 2 years, I was absolutely devestated. I walked around in a trance for ages.
But I wouldn't have missed the time we had either. I'm not sure I'd say it was entirely worth the pain (it was a very complicated breakup) but i think it jsut about was.
As a sidenote, after 3 months, he came crawling back, asking me to take him back. And I did...after some ground rules were set. Now we're coming up on 3 years, actually I think the moonfair will mark 3 yrs.

So, thats my confusing story. Okay, I'll stop talking now....

[Lix]

ooh wow three years!

[Miska]

wow! thats really cool ethereal!!!! but i agree wit u kayt its a sad thread!!! *sigh* but life is liek that is it not! i hate break ups! they are sooo hard!

[Elspethseeker]

Well i think i will relate this to the boyfriend stag deal here. Never had one. friends can really suck though lost five this yeAR. Being Total Bit**es so I went. I found some other friends tho. much closer to them too.

[Miska]

i think its all bout changing...u always lose soem and win some...but u have to have them to start with if ur ever to experience!

[Unykorn]

I think it depends on how u lost them. If they moved away or something, it would be better to have known them, but if they did something to hurt u (or publicly humiliate u) then it would be better not to have known them, wouldn't it?

[Rilla]

I had a friend who totally turned on me, an it was horrible. it started all these fights throughout our friendship group and it went on for more then a year, untill she moved to another school.
I cried myself to sleep nearly every night that year...

I'm gonna shut up now...

[Arien]

oww..*gives Rilla a hug*
i think it's better just to not have had those kind of friends in the first place. Good friends, it's better to have had them, but bad ones...no.

[Miska]

yes but how can u tell whats a good friend or not if u never have then as a friend in the first place!! and arien ur posting are goin up quickly!

[Arien]

yes, that's true, miska...

mm, i spend too much time on the net...

[Miska]

lol...dear! look at me!!!

[Lol]

*hugs everyone*

I think we've all known that pain and lonliness in some form or other. You just have to keep believing that things will get better, trite though it sounds.

I have to say I'm very glad I'm past high school though. I think something about the nature of a school make you more vulnerable. Little kids learn the power of rejecting and 'not being friends' with someone very fast and use it mercilessly, and in a school you can't just go away...

*hugs everyone again*

[Elspethseeker]

Poor rilla!*hugs*been inspot but it was a mortal enemy she made my life hell. then she moved.

[Lix]

*hugs all round*

why did we start this topic again?