Glynnavyre
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This is a photo of my crazy dog, only he's bigger in real life...
Posts: 759
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Post by Glynnavyre on Jul 31, 2004 7:50:47 GMT 11
I don't know who started this topic but the Question for the poll does fit - ' Which is better?!" NEITHER IS BETTER!!!! The fact is that no matter what may be going on in our dayly lives... It nice to know you can always get a hug, a cup of chocca and a fight over Dames or Rushton on here!   |
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Post by Miska on Jul 31, 2004 19:33:09 GMT 11
i comletely agree! cheers to that! *hands out choco* ..*clink*
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Elspethseeker
Guildmember
OH YEAH MOONFAIR SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 2,460
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Post by Elspethseeker on Aug 1, 2004 11:34:09 GMT 11
Yes! so true!
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Post by Marija on Aug 1, 2004 11:52:03 GMT 11
Things like the stuff people have mentioned here will always hurt. But I think a large part of how much they hurt depends on how you see yourself. I went through some not so great times in late primary and early highschool and although it hurt I was almost always aware of the fact that I was so much better than the people that were being b!tches. Yes, that sounds vain, but I think I know myself well enough to know I wouldn't be a vindictive b!tch just because I could. At least I hope I wouldn't. And in my opinion that makes me better than them. So really, in treating you badly, they are only emphasising how far beneath you they really are. Yes. That is enough of my wonderful vanity  |
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Ceirwan
Gypsy
Yay for Wanderers!
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Post by Ceirwan on Aug 1, 2004 20:37:19 GMT 11
At our Sydney meet we discussed this a little bit. And I totally agree with you Lol... school sucks when it comes to friends.
Coz you're stuck with the same group of people for years. You know way too much history of everyone. And everyone's at the ages where you don't even know yourself! So everyone's changing all the time and YOU CAN'T GET AWAY.
My guess is that lots of us on this site are also the types that would prefer to just curl up with a book rather than go to wild parties and do all the so-called POPULAR things.
Being smart, sensitive and interested in fantasy books doesn't seem to go down well at school. If only Obernewtyn.net were around when I was at high school! (and that wasn't all that long ago.)
For all you guys currently at high school believe us people that have already finished when we say that LIFE GETS BETTER once you leave school because then you get the chance to meet lots of new people with similar interests to you.
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Post by Lix on Aug 1, 2004 22:53:05 GMT 11
Things like the stuff people have mentioned here will always hurt. But I think a large part of how much they hurt depends on how you see yourself. I went through some not so great times in late primary and early highschool and although it hurt I was almost always aware of the fact that I was so much better than the people that were being pregnant doges. Yes, that sounds vain, but I think I know myself well enough to know I wouldn't be a vindictive pregnant dog just because I could. At least I hope I wouldn't. And in my opinion that makes me better than them. So really, in treating you badly, they are only emphasising how far beneath you they really are. Yes. That is enough of my wonderful vanity pregnant dog?!? |
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Glynnavyre
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This is a photo of my crazy dog, only he's bigger in real life...
Posts: 759
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Post by Glynnavyre on Aug 1, 2004 23:01:53 GMT 11
In relation to Roz's last comment... When you do know somebody too well and you have a little falling out or clash of personalities, people tend to take things out of context and propotion... You might go away and sleep on it and next have fogotten about any arguement but the other person not only remembers EVERYTHING but tends to hold a gruge when you do reconcile... Thats waht so great when you get out of school... Not only do you not have to see somebody every single day, but little arguements with friends can be easily resolved if your willing to calm down and compromise... That's how it is with my 'best' friends anyway... they understand i'm VERY opinionated and at times extremely blunt and they get over it soon and just get on being friends and havin' fun... p.s. what is the deal with the pregnant dog?!... Is that the sensor?! |
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Post by Arien on Aug 1, 2004 23:46:49 GMT 11
pregnant dog is the censored version of b!tch... ahh, i can't wait until i'm out of school. My school is small compared to others, and it makes the whole bickering friends thing even worse  I'm so sick of it. argh |
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Ceirwan
Gypsy
Yay for Wanderers!
Posts: 693
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Post by Ceirwan on Aug 3, 2004 1:46:02 GMT 11
Elspethseeker, even though you're on the other side of the world, you have lots of friends here |
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Elondriel
Gypsy
Don't fret precious I'm here...
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Post by Elondriel on Aug 3, 2004 12:07:05 GMT 11
Ohhh, tough poll choice.
i voted, better to have, but only after reading all posts. i agree with quite a few things ppl said, it seems we have heaps in common, but i can't be bothered quoting.(you know who u are)
if you had friends, no matter what the period of time then you would have been happy. and like someone said, it is the personal growth that comes from getting over ppl that is what is important and makes you you.
if you never had a friend, then 1 you wouldn't have that skill by now that is imoprtant in how to get along with ppl, and 2, you would be a very naieve person.
back in yr 5 the friends i was with turned on me and i was friendless, serious, back then i there were like 3 groups, mine was about 90% of all the girls, so it left me with noone. Like all others who lost friends it was hurtfull and i am still bitter about it to this day (which prob explains my reason for wanting to be a coercer in the 'what talent would u have' thread). From then on, i have had probs with friends to this day, even tho i went to a totally diff high school, where only 1 other girl went who wasn't in the 90%. They are always backstabbing me and grouping against.
But still i believe that it was better to have. i did have some good times and i have learnt many things about myself, like i am stronger than that. (it is good to cling to that thought when one feels suicidal)
like others, i havn't had a boyfriend, and at 21 i would like to , even tho i see myself being hurt terribly, i still want that experience. Cause nothing in lifes perfect.
Someone said that they didn't want to sound vain, don't worry u don't. I know now that the reason i never fitted in was cause i was at a higher maturity level than the others, sounds heaps up myself. That is why i was always being attacked but rarely did anything back.
So to end my depressing addition to this thread, remember that it is better to have had some happiness. u would feel empty and missing something if u never had friends, it is part of humans nature to socialise. Realise that there is a reason for the fact that u had a fall out, and if it is that u were better than them, that's not being vain. Like i have come to the conclusion after councelling that many ppl are jelous of me, why, i don't know, but i am guessing that it would be the same for many of the rest of you.
And always thank ur ex's for what you have gained. i now try to speak my mind and don't often take crap from anyone. If i'm not happy bout it then they will likely know. Handy in work and uni related problems!!!!
We are all better ppl.
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Post by Min on Aug 3, 2004 14:02:00 GMT 11
I think the main thing - and I have to accept this as well - is that life isn't always going to smell like roses. There are some crap times that take a long time to get over, if they get resolved at all. It sounds awful, but I accepted at the end of last year that life would be crap, and hence I can deal with the bad stuff that happens instead of whining 'poor me' - and the good stuff that happens is a nice surprise  but there will always be challenges, bad times, people who are jealous of what you have and there's no easy way to deal with it when it's one of your friends who's involved. But then I'm a pessimist (unfortunately I got it into my head that optimism is for delusionals...and I can't trick my brain back)...I'm sure there's much better ways of dealing with things but we're all products of our past...so maybe there is no wrong way, just different ways? Sorry if this is totally off topic, I only read a few of the last posts again. |
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Post by Min on Aug 3, 2004 14:06:52 GMT 11
Being smart, sensitive and interested in fantasy books doesn't seem to go down well at school. If only Obernewtyn.net were around when I was at high school! (and that wasn't all that long ago.) For all you guys currently at high school believe us people that have already finished when we say that LIFE GETS BETTER once you leave school because then you get the chance to meet lots of new people with similar interests to you. It didn't go down with the popular kids, but there were always a group of people who were brave enough to care...in my school anyway, and I went to a really small town, small-minded school! Life gets better after school...I would debate that. I say enjoy the time you have with your closest friends, because through my experiences you'll never get to that level of friendly, innocent intimacy with a group of people ever again. You're all growing together and learning together. Sure they're in your face ALL the time, but once they're gone, you can never get that repore back again. I wouldn't say life gets better. It just gets real - there's good and bad, and no one there to pick up after you like teachers or parents, so you really have to look out for yourself. In that sense, friendship is still important but not your first priority. That's what it's like for me anyway...my friends used to mean the world to me in school and though I still love my best friends now, I'll never attain the same level of friendship as I did then. |
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Post by Lix on Aug 3, 2004 14:53:59 GMT 11
i just found the b!tchyness didnt stop after high school, it got worse
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Glynnavyre
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This is a photo of my crazy dog, only he's bigger in real life...
Posts: 759
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Post by Glynnavyre on Aug 3, 2004 16:00:51 GMT 11
But then I'm a pessimist (unfortunately I got it into my head that optimism is for delusionals...and I can't trick my brain back)...I'm sure there's much better ways of dealing with things but we're all products of our past...so maybe there is no wrong way, just different ways? I'm not a pessimist but a realist (very similar)... I find it prepares me better for events, results and outcomes that seem to crop up... |
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Post by Rilla on Aug 3, 2004 17:32:21 GMT 11
You know, thats what i like about ober.net. everybody here supports you and makes you feel happy, even when you feel crap |
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Post by Marija on Aug 3, 2004 20:08:40 GMT 11
Did I write that?? Or did I write something that I wasn't meant to write and it got changed?? Yes... well... it wasn't a nice term, I assure you... |
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Ceirwan
Gypsy
Yay for Wanderers!
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Post by Ceirwan on Aug 3, 2004 23:20:21 GMT 11
I agree with Elondriel where she said that a lot of problems are caused by jealousy. I guess it's a lesson for us not to be jealous of others as well. We just have to count our blessings. That's obviously easier said than done, but the more we can see the good things in our lives the stronger we become. I don't think we can just assume that life's going to be bad so the good things are surprises. Like everyone, I've suffered some pretty bad things in my life. But I think life is GOOD overall and we need to keep our eyes on all the good things life has to offer. (Like Obernewtyn.net for example ) |
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Post by Min on Aug 4, 2004 11:34:51 GMT 11
Yeah I know, we should look out for the good stuff, but I'm a pessimist (like I said before) - It's bad but I can't get out of the habit of this - if you never have the hope that it will happen, you'll never be disappointed if/when it doesn't happen. And if it does, it's a nice surprise. Does that make any sense? I know it's an awful outlook but I had to convince myself of that when everything kept going wrong for me. It makes the falls a lot softer and I got sick of everything being such a battle for me. So I know it's not nice to have no hope...but I'm willing to take the good and the bad with the decision. I will miss out on some things, sure, but my falls have been so hard, that I'd prefer to never have hope stripped from me again. I don't recommend this to any of you, because once you've convinced yourself this it's difficult to get it out of your head. Hence that is why I am the way I am My uncle's tried telling me to "expect the best but prepare for the worst" - it's good advice but yeah, it's very difficult to trick your brain into believing something when you've convinced yourself of something else, and it's working for you, and when you used to expect the best and always have people betray you, plans fall flat in your face and be left alone wondering "why?!". So I really don't believe in it |
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Post by Dameon on Aug 4, 2004 11:55:58 GMT 11
I've just spent nearly an hour with my counsellor!
She made me talk about awful things! I hate doing it, but I did and now she says we can work on giving me closure. This is good because I need closure to deal with my awful things.
That might not seem relevant to this thread, but trust me, it is.
Anyway, I don't have a negative OR an optimistic view of life. I think I'm a naturally optimistic person, but because of the way my life has been and the fact that I have depression, I'm more inclined to be negative, even if I am a person who expects things to go well. Does that make sense??
Anyway, I don't like this thread so I'm going now, but just thought I should drop in and provide my two cents.
KSL
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Post by Miska on Aug 4, 2004 18:00:40 GMT 11
You know, thats what i like about ober.net. everybody here supports you and makes you feel happy, even when you feel crap
but in relation to wat everyone is saying, its all so true! but it s takin me so long to read it, cos its hurtful jsut to think bout it! *sigh* life isnt ment ot b easy...ur to make it fun tho! :S |
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Ceirwan
Gypsy
Yay for Wanderers!
Posts: 693
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Post by Ceirwan on Aug 7, 2004 1:34:24 GMT 11
Ah yes, difficult thread, but in a way I feel a bit better, you know, getting things off your chest. Just in case you do drop back, KSL, I hope you're able to get that "closure" that you're after. Loneliness and depression are two very different things afterall. Oh, Min! I just want to use this chance to say I know you expect horrible things... but I was completely blown away by your new theories site when you launched it earlier this year. Way beyond all expectations! So hey, you've put a little sunshine into my life. |
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talisha
Guildmember
Number One Rushton Supporter GO WANDIES!
Posts: 1,535
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Post by talisha on Aug 7, 2004 23:25:42 GMT 11
Kayt I hope you get the closure you're looking for too.
I'm a pessimist. I'm not really positive... ever
I voted for the never have friends one.
I've had some bad experiences with friends and other things as well, but I just don't like to think about it all that much, I tend to just block things out. Works very well for me, otherwise I'd be a total wreck.
I just really can't see the point of people sometimes... I mean, there are just so many awful people and b!tchy 'friends' that sometimes I just think it's not worth it, but then when I look at my friends now for example it's mixed.
I went on work experience and I was with two of my good mates, and the whole time they keep giving each other looks everytime I'd say something and they'd laugh at me and leave me and sh!t, and it got so fricken annoying, but at lunch time when we met up with one of my others good friends, it was all better because she's just so gorgeous and nice...
Oh I just don't know. I think it's better to not have the pain. What if it extends further than friends? Isn't it saying the same thing? Boyfriends, girlfriends, family members...
*sigh* now I'm all muddled up
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I'm so sick of it. argh
All the same my friends and i still get along pretty well. 
