Clare's Collection of Unusual Tales and Pictures

[Dark One]

Bigger willies for men - eventually

Men's willies will be bigger and women's boobs will be more pert - by the year 3000.

New research predicts some humans will be 6½ft tall, have coffee-coloured skin and live for 120 years.

The predictions appear in a new report by evolution theorist Dr Oliver Curry, of the Darwin@LSE Research Centre at the London School Of Economics.

He spent two months investigating the ascent and descent of man over the next 100 millennia.

He found that social division might split humans into two sub-species of giants and goblins, reports The Sun.

The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative.

But an "underclass" will have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.

He said humans being more choosy about partners would lead to genetic inequality in the future.

He added: "Things could get ugly, with the possible emergence of genetic 'haves' and `have-nots'."

He reckons humans are set to reach their peak by the year 3000, growing taller and living longer thanks to improved nutrition, lifestyles and medical knowledge.

But there is also a downside, the study suggests. Humans will be more prone to disease and physically weaker because of our reliance on technology.

[Dark One]

Boy, 14, catches piranha - in Stockport

A 14-year-old boy has caught a 3lb South American piranha - in a Stockport pond.

Josh Boyle caught the exotic fish at a beauty spot, Reddish Vale, near his home in Greater Manchester.

Josh, who had been fishing for four hours before landing the piranha, said: "I recognised what it was straight away, so I wrapped it in a towel so it couldn't bite me.

"I was really shocked, but I was excited too - as I have never caught anything like it. I have been fishing since I was two, and I've seen lots of pictures of piranhas before, so I knew what it was."

Josh, who is a member of the Prince Albert Angling Society, landed his catch with just a spinner on his rod, which imitates a small fish.

After taking photos of the fish he released it back into the water, reports the Daily Mail.

Brian Zimmerman, aquarium manager at London Zoo, said: "This is most unusual. It managed to survive until it was caught, but it couldn't have survived the cold winter as the waters it is used to are between 25 and 30 degrees.

"It would have eaten smaller fish such as roach and tench to survive - the red bellied piranhas usually hunt in shoals and attack in a large group. When they are on their own they have to go for smaller prey."

[Dark One]

Toddler survives 50ft fall

A Serbian toddler survived a 50ft fall without a scratch.

Two-year-old Vid Pavlicic fell through stair railings on the fifth floor of a block of flats in the town of Kragujevac while playing.

But after plunging down the stairwell to the basement of the building, he reportedly got up and walked away unhurt.

His mother, Gordana, said: "He was just playing outside the door to the flat with his sister when he slipped through the railings and fell between the stairs.

"I thought he must have died. But he just got up and looked a bit confused. He didn't even cry. No one knows how he could have survived. It's a true miracle."

The toddler was examined in hospital where doctors said he was completely uninjured.

[Dark One]

Roofer nails testicle to roof

An Austrian workman who slipped while working on a house nailed his own testicle to the roof with a nail gun.

August Voegl, 59, from Jennersdorf, shot the four-inch nail into his left testicle with the compressed air nail gun.

He was unable to extract it or pull himself away from the roof.

Emergency medics were called in to separate the man from the roof after which he was airlifted to a nearby hospital where he is reportedly recovering well after surgery.

[Dark One]

Postcard arrvives after 40 years

A postcard sent in 1966 by a student to his parents on the other side of Poland has finally arrived after 40 years.

Zygmunt Kubiczak, the author of the postcard, said: "Since 1966 Poland has gone through martial law and thrown off the communist system, Jan Pawel II has been elected Pope, served his term and passed away.

"I've managed to get married, bring up two children, sail round the world on a boat, survive a serious heart operation and to retire. And all the time, that card was travelling on it's way."

Mr Kubiczak's parents are no longer alive and the postcard was only recovered thanks to helpful neighbours, who sent it on when it arrived at his parent's old address.

[Dark One]

Toyshop owner robs bank with water pistol

A struggling Austrian toyshop owner was arrested after he tried to rob a bank with one of his toy guns.

The 44-year-old, from Vienna, stormed into a local bank with a stocking over his head and a gun in his hand, and demanded clerks empty their tills.

But a security guard noticed the 'weapon' was a plastic water pistol and asked him to hand over the toy to avoid "an even bigger embarrassment".

The would-be robber told police: "I was driven to this desperate deed after my toy shop went bankrupt."

[Dark One]

'Gold teeth stolen while owner slept'

A Florida man claims someone reached into his mouth and stole his gold teeth as he slept.

Bryan Osteen, of Mims, Brevard Country, rang police to complain about the theft, reports Local6.com News.

Osteen told officers that someone entered his bedroom and took the £40 teeth out of his mouth.

He said he had friends at his home and believes one of them had something to do with the crime.

Osteen said he did not wake up because he is a heavy sleeper, according to a Brevard County Sheriff's Office report.

[Dark One]

Girl, 14, quizzed over MySpace anti-Bush page

A US girl of 14 was dragged out of class by Secret Service agents for calling President Bush an idiot on her MySpace page.

Julia Wilson's internet page, called "So Bush is an idiot but hey what else is new?", infuriated security experts, reports the Mirror.

She also posted the words "Kill Bush" and ran a cartoon of a knife stabbing the hand of the president.

Two federal agents went searching for Julia at her home before finding the teenager at school in Sacramento, California.

After pulling her out of class, they subjected her to a 20-minute interview.

Julia said: "I told them I just really don't agree with Bush's politics. I do not have any plans of harming Bush in any way. I am very peaceful. I just don't like Bush."

She said the agents warned her she could be locked up for making the threat.

Dad Jim Moose added: "I don't condone what she did, but it seems a little over the top. You'd think they could determine that she's not a credible threat."

[Dark One]

Crime-ridden city in the pink

A crime-infested, poverty-stricken Indian city is being painted pink to give the locals a lift.

Aurangabad, in Bihar, one of the country's poorest states, is painting itself pink to uplift sagging morale, reports the BBC.

Aurangabad is a hotbed of Maoist rebel activity - nearly 90 people died in two major attacks involving the rebels in 1987 and 2000 alone.

But now the facades of most of the private and government buildings have been painted a gaudy pink.

"About 80% of the buildings have been painted pink in the town and the rest would be completed by next week," the town's sub-division officer Arvind Kumar Singh said.

Mr Singh says he thought of painting Aurangabad pink after a visit to Jaipur, dubbed the 'Pink City' for its terracotta buildings.

"What better colour than pink which symbolises good mood, soothing sight and good feelings. Pink also fosters communal amity and harmony," he says.

"Initially I met with some resistance. Now even a former member of parliament from the town has painted his palatial home pink."

[Dark One]

Donkey falls for gander

A German donkey is making an ass out of herself after falling in love with a gander.

The farm where the unlikely couple live, in the Saxon town of Cottbus, has been besieged by journalists and curious visitors since the affair featured in local newspaper, the Lausitzer Rundschau.

The gander, whose name is Hannibal, met Heidi the donkey when he was put into her enclosure for being too aggressive to be kept with the other birds.

Staff say the couple quickly fell for each other, eating and sleeping together and are now completely inseparable.

The gander jealously attacks any male donkeys who go near Heidi. Heidi in turn is not interested in other donkeys, and follows Hannibal around all day long.

[Dark One]

Tycoon puts elbow through Picasso

A US tycoon has been forced to pull out of a deal to sell his Picasso painting for a record £74m after he put his elbow through it.

Steve Wynn was showing Le Reve (The Dream) to guests at his office in Las Vegas when the accident happened.

Director and screenwriter Nora Ephron who was at the office at the time of the accident wrote about it on her blog site, reports the BBC.

She said Mr Wynn raised his hand then "at that moment, his elbow crashed backward right through the canvas. There was a terrible noise".

"Smack in the middle... was a black hole the size of a silver dollar. 'Look what I've done,' he said. 'Thank goodness it was me'."

Mr Wynn, who has retinitis pigmentosa, an eye disease affecting peripheral vision, plans to repair the coin-sized hole.

[Dark One]

Children can't find UK on map

One in five schoolchildren can't find the UK on a map, according to a new survey.

And fewer than two-thirds of the pupils could identify the US, reports the Mirror.

A total of 1,000 six to 14-year-olds took part in the poll for National Geographic Kids magazine.

Researchers described the results as "rather frightening."

Professor Alan Smithers, of the University of Buckingham, said: "These results underline the need for education to concentrate on the essentials."

A spokesman from teacher's union NASUWT dismissed the poll as "statistics" that fail to recognise "excellent work" of teachers.

[Dark One]

Aussies told to stop singing in the shower

Australians have been told to stop singing in the shower in an attempt to save electricity and water.

Power supplier Energy Australia says exercising the vocal cords in the bathroom adds an extra 9.08 minutes to a shower.

Singing, daydreaming, shaving, and other "nonessential activities" in the shower are adding to the average family's power bills and also contributing to global warming, it says.

"You use enough electricity during one minute of showering to run your television for four hours," the company's energy-efficiency specialist, Paul Myors, said.

"If the average family cut their showers by two minutes, they would save just over $100 a year."

Energy Australia says that if customers insist on singing in the shower, they should choose shorter songs.

The company is distributing 500,000 shower timers in the Sydney area to remind consumers to be more energy efficient.

[Dark One]

ALF targets tiger, takes rabbit

Animal rights activists who broke into a circus to liberate a rare white tiger changed their minds after seeing it - and took a bunny rabbit instead.

Campaigners from the Swiss faction of the Animal Liberation Front had earlier told Circus Royal director Oliver Skreinig they planned to steal the Siberian tiger and hand him to a zoo.

But when they broke into the circus enclosure and saw the animal they changed their minds - and stole a rabbit instead.

The liberationists then posted pictures of themselves online wearing black army uniforms and balaclavas and holding the rabbit.

Skreinig said: "The pet rabbit was not even in the show, it belonged to our clown's six-year-old daughter."

[Dark One]

OAP posts cat

A pensioner accidentally sent a cat in the post after it sneaked inside the parcel she was sending to her nephew.

Edith Schonberg, 67, from Rosdorf in Schleswig Holstein, Germany, posted the birthday parcel without noticing Felix had crawled inside for a catnap.

She believes the three year old tom must have found his way into the package while she was searching for some sticky tape.

The mistake was only spotted when a postman at the central sorting office realised there was an animal inside the parcel and called police.

Mrs Schonberg said: "I had not even noticed he had gone until they called, I thought he was asleep in the airing cupboard."

[Dark One]

Ticket for deaf and blind man

A deaf and blind man who doesn't drive has received a £60 speeding ticket.

Police say a speed camera clocked Martyn Styles doing 36mph in a 30mph zone in Hull, reports the Mirror.

Martyn said: "They say they've got evidence against me. Well, let's see the picture of me with my white stick and my guide dog driving that car."

Martyn's lives with his wife Dawn and son Chris who are also both deaf.

Dawn sometimes drives their Renault Scenic Privilege, which is registered in Martyn's name, short distances from home in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

But on the day of the offence, the couple were 180 miles away having lunch at Chris's school.

Dawn said: "We can't believe it. My husband can't drive. Only I drive. It was the same kind of car as ours and the same registration number but it wasn't our car. It couldn't have been.

"There's no way we were in Hull - we don't even know where Humberside is."

The couple fear their number plate has been cloned. The police are now investigating further after the couple complained.

[Dark One]

Dog c0cks leg and cuts off power

A dog cut off the power in 148 homes when it c0cked its leg on a power cable.

Bailey, a Staffordshire bull terrier, went for a wee against a faulty pylon, reports The Sun.

His owner Gary Davies said: "There was an almighty explosion and the whole street lit up. I turned round and the dog was on fire."

The power was off in homes in Middlestone Moor, Co Durham for five hours.

Bailey is recovering at home after being treated for burns.

[Dark One]

Knicker vicar saves the day

A New Zealand clergyman has been nicknamed the "knicker-vicar" after coming to the rescue of women in his town.

Women in the small North Island town of Inglewood were worried when the only clothes shop stopped selling ladies' underwear.

So the Reverend Gary Husband proposed starting a regular "knicker-run" to the nearby city of New Plymouth, reports the BBC.

"We get all the essentials here - apart from the ladies' essentials," he said.

The first run is planned before Christmas and, if successful, could be become a regular monthly event, he added.

"Someone came up with the point that it was a bit difficult that ladies essentials were not able to be bought in Inglewood," he told National Radio.

"So we're going to have what's been called a knickers run."

Volunteers will take anyone without transport the 12 miles from Inglewood to New Plymouth.

"This is for the community... the response has been positive, we've had one (other) denomination get in touch with us, so it's spreading."

[Dark One]

Robbers break into empty bank

A gang of Romanian robbers broke into a bank's headquarters in a daring overnight raid - only to find it empty.

The three criminals expected to hit the jackpot with their raid on the Nova Bank in Constanta city centre.

But they did not know that the bank was relocating to new premises and the building was empty.

Police said the gang broke into the building, which had been closed for renovation work, by forcing the main doors.

A police spokesman said: "The robbers thought they would make the hit of their lives but instead broke into an empty building.

"They couldn't find anything to steal, not even some heating pipes they tried to remove from the walls."

The robbers were seen by neighbours when they left the building empty-handed but police couldn't catch them.

Officers said they have taken evidence from the scene and had already drawn up a list of suspects.

[Dark One]

Pumpkin grows up 7ft conifer

A Cambridgeshire pensioner was shocked to find a huge pumpkin growing at the top of her 7ft conifer tree.

June Hammersley, 77, of Milton, found the 36lb pumpkin growing up a tree in her garden, reports the Mirror.

The pumpkin had trained itself up the nearby tree trunk.

June, 77, said: "We planted it a good 6ft from the conifers. We saw it was creeping along the garden because some lovely flowers were growing.

"The plant climbed up the conifer and one day we saw the pumpkin at the top. It's like Jack and the Beanstalk - no one can believe their eyes."

June and husband David plan to give the pumpkin to their greatgrandson for Hallowe'en.

She said: "I've had pumpkin pie and didn't like it so I won't be cooking it. It is certainly the most unusual thing to come out of our garden this year."

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'Chris De Burgh cured my paralysed arm'

A woman claims pop singer Chris De Burgh cured her paralysed arm with his healing hands.

Best-selling author Marisa Mackle told The Sun her horrifically injured limb came back to life after he touched it.

It follows controversial claims by De Burgh earlier this month that he could perform miracles like Jesus.

Mackle almost died after slashing her arm on a pane of glass trying to break into her own home. Despite six hours in surgery, it remained virtually paralysed.

For the next three months, her left arm was completely useless. Then came the amazing night out in late January.

She says: "I was in a restaurant with Chris's daughter - the former Miss World, Rosanna Davidson - and she noticed I was using one hand to do everything.

"Of course I didn't want her to think that I had terrible manners so I told her about the accident and that I couldn't use my left arm. The next thing, she told me her dad Chris was a really good healer."

At the end of the night De Burgh came in to pick up Rosanna and she told him about her complaint.

The singer sat down beside Mackle and began to place his hands on the scarred area. He told her he was looking for the heat spot and began to concentrate his palms on specific areas.

She said: "I suppose I didn't really feel any different after the treatment. But then one of the girls called over to me to try it out so I tried to lift a pint glass. And I could - it was just unbelievable."

[Dark One]

Women 'grumpier than men'

Women are grumpier than men in the morning, according to a new survey.

The study found women were grumpier than men when they wake up - and stay in a bad mood for longer.

Thirteen per cent of women are in a bad mood for up to four hours after waking, compared to a tenth of men, according to the study by the Sleep Council.

Spokeswoman Jessica Alexander said: "Many more men than women claim to get a good seven nights sleep a week, so perhaps it is not surprising that more women than men get out of bed on the wrong side."

Forty per cent of people studied blamed their bad mood on a disturbed night, while 24% point to stress and worry.

Londoners are the grumpiest, but only seven per cent of people in the North East and Yorkshire get seven nights of good sleep.

The Sleep Council questioned 2,105 adults for the study.

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Guinness drinkers see red

Guinness is to go from its traditional black colour to red.

The new type of Guinness will be made from lightly roasted barley.

According to The Sun, it will go on trial at pubs in the UK over the next few months.

Spokeswoman Katrina Ward said: "We can confirm we are currently working on an innovation called Guinness Red. It is a new variant of Guinness, lightly roasted for a rich red colour."

Guinness is the fourth most popular beer in UK pubs.

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Dog eats 'fetch' toys

A young dog owner has discovered why her pet was so slow - he ate everything she threw during a game of 'fetch'.

Olivia Parkinson, aged eight, took Barney to the vets who opened up his tummy to find six golf ball-sized rocks, five large twigs and whole crab apples.

She told the Mirror: "I could never understand why, when we played fetch, he would return empty-mouthed. Now I know."

Olivia, of Balsall Common, West Midlands, became concerned when she heard clanking coming from the springer spaniel.

Dad Andrew, 42, said: "We thought she was making it up. But when I heard it I couldn't believe my ears. It was like rocks in a sieve being shaken around."

Vet Natasha Bright said: "The sheer amount of stones in him shocked everyone here. But he was very lucky. There's no way he could have passed them. If it had gone on much longer he could have died."

Olivia now keeps the remains of Barney's strange diet in a jar.

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Kickboxer gives birth after fight

A 17-year-old kickboxer who didn't know she was pregnant gave birth to a baby daughter after a competition.

Dutch junior fighter Pamela Vugts was rushed to hospital when she started bleeding the day after a kickbox gala in Den Bosch.

Doctors told her she was seven months pregnant and later that day she gave birth to a healthy baby girl by Caesarian, reports the Destentor website.

Neither Pamela nor her parents knew she was pregnant, although the scales showed she was more than 17lbs overweight before her fight.

"She has always been a bit heavy," said her father, Cor. "And because she was having her monthly periods we thought she had just put on weight."