Clare's Collection of Unusual Tales and Pictures

[Dark One]

Musical condom hits the high notes

A musical condom designed to play louder and faster as lovers reach a climax is to go on sale in Ukraine.

Grigoriy Chausovsky, from Zaporozhye, said his condoms came fitted with a special sensor that registers when the condom is put on.

It transmits a signal to a miniature speaker in the base of the condom which play a melody.

He told local media: "As the sex becomes more passionate, it registers the increased speed of the movements and plays the melody faster and louder."

[Dark One]

Man locks himself in cage with lion

A Chinese man has locked himself in a cage with a lion to raise public awareness of the 'pain of isolation'.

Ye Fu and his assistant entered the four metre high, three metre wide iron cage at Qingdao Wildlife Park, reports China Daily.

The duo plan to stay in the cage for 10 days without talking. Like the lion, they will eat raw beef and drink tap water.

Last year, Ye Fu, who describes himself as an artist and poet, spent a month in a huge bird nest outside a high-rise in Beijing.

[Dark One]

Man spends 4 hours in hole

A pensioner who was trapped upside down in a hole for four hours was rescued after a postie saw his feet sticking out.

Albert Hughes, 70, was trying to adjust the water flow to his garden sprinklers when he fell head first into the narrow shaft housing the water meter.

When postwoman Janelle Maury called to deliver letters, she saw his boots and heard his cries for help.

According to the Mirror she said: "His feet were at ground level but that was all I could see. When I was closer I could see he was down there.

"I just couldn't believe he was upside down for that long."

The emergency services arrived but couldn't pull him out by hand.

Firemen put a tripod over the hole, attached a rope and straps to his feet and winched him out of the pit at his home in Spokane in America's Washington state.

He was released later that day from hospital uninjured.

[Dark One]

£200 currency worth 25p

A man who went on a trip to Poland ended up with currency ten years out of date.

Matt Spinks, from Wolverhampton, was told the £200 of currency the Post Office had given him was worth just 25p.

Architect Matt, 26, bought the Polish zlotys for a flying visit to look at property.

He booked a table for a colleague who had travelled with him and two businessmen in Krakow.

He insisted on paying the £100 bill. But the waitress told him the money was out of date.

Matt has been given his money back and £100 on top by Royal Mail bosses.

According to The Sun he said: "I had gone out on the town - with 25p in my pocket! I'll never live it down."

[Dark One]

Sex shop robbers use kinky cuffs

Armed robbers who held up a sex shop in the US used kinky fur handcuffs to restrain workers while they made their getaway.

Three gunmen stole about £125 cash in the raid on a store in Stone Mountain, Atlanta, Georgia, reports the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

The masked men escaped on foot after using leg irons and fur handcuffs from the shop shelves to restrain two employees.

One was handcuffed with a "pair of silver leg irons" to a sink. The other was bound with a pair of black fur handcuffs, according to a police report.

No one was injured in the robbery, which was captured on a video.

[Dark One]

Government's hellish warning

The Russian government is warning that people who give or take bribes will "burn in the flames of hell."

The drastic warning comes in a mass leafleting scheme aimed at rooting out widespread corruption in society.

Officials in Russia admit corruption is a massive problem with billions of pounds changing hands in bribes every year across all industries including education, health and police.

The government has sent out a leaflet to every home in Russia advising people what to do if they are asked for a bribe.

The leaflet quotes a text from the Koran which reads: "Both the giver and taker of a bribe will burn in the flames of hell."

[Dark One]

Crash victim saved by breast implants

A Bulgarian car crash victim was saved by her huge breast implants - which acted as airbags to absorb the impact.

Elena Marinova, 24, from Sofia, was involved in a full frontal crash with another car in the northern city of Ruse.

Despite both cars being written off and the other driver being badly hurt Marinova escaped serious injury thanks to her breast implants, according to the local Standart newspaper.

A police expert explained that the 40DD silicone implants "absorbed the impact of the crash".

He added: "They worked just like airbags - protecting the victim's ribs and vital organs from damage.

"However they are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do."

[Dark One]

Car stolen with sleeping child in back

A thief stole a car when the driver stopped to use a cash machine without realising a young boy was asleep on the back seat.

The father had left the engine running while he nipped out to get some money from an ATM in the centre of Brussels, reports GVA..

The opportunistic thief jumped into the car and sped off - with the man's five-year-old son still asleep in the back.

The owner immediately called the police - and also started ringing local petrol stations as he knew the tank was almost empty.

He also told his story to a gang of youngsters and one of them found the car a few hours later in nearby Oudergem.

The little boy was still asleep and had no idea he had been at the centre of such an adventure.

Police believe the thief panicked and abandoned the car as soon as he noticed the child.

[Dark One]

Driver stopped train for cigarette break

A Romanian train driver is facing disciplinary action after he stopped his train to get out for a cigarette.

He stopped in the middle of the countryside and he also allowed passengers to get off the train.

Smoking was recently banned on trains in Romania, reports the Evenimentul Zilei newspaper.

The incident happened on the Blue Arrow, supposedly the country's fastest and most modern train

The train had just passed the city of Timisoara when the driver announced: "Passengers may get off now, we'll take a five minutes cigarette break."

One of the passengers, Adina-Nicoleta B, told the newspaper: "I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the announcement about the cigarette break.

"We were not travelling by bus. It was supposed to be a fast train but it stopped in the middle of nowhere and people led by the driver went out to have a smoke."

Railway officials said the engine driver admitted making the stop but claimed there were technical reasons for it.

However, they admitted the driver should not have let passengers off the train and he faces disciplinary action.

[Dark One]

Workman paints yellow line under car

A man was stunned to get a ticket for parking on a yellow line which wasn't there when he left his car.

When Nasser Khan parked his car there was a gap in the lines. On his return a council workman had painted a yellow line under his car and a traffic warden had given him a ticket.

The incident in Salford, Manchester, was captured on camera by an office worker based nearby.

Mr Khan, 28, a marketing consultant, said: "I thought I was lucky to get the space but I didn't think I would get a ticket because it was a legitimate parking area.

"I couldn't believe they painted the line underneath my vehicle.

"Luckily I had a note on my windscreen from the guys in the nearby office which explained what had happened, otherwise I would have driven off unaware."

He said the machinery used to mark the line had melted the tyres of his Toyota MR2 which forced him to spend £550 on a new set.

He added: "I took the car to a garage and I was told the tyres were unroadworthy. I could have had a blow-out at any time."

Mr Khan said the parking ticket had since been quashed by Salford City Council reports The Sun.

However, he is also demanding that the council reimburses the cost of the damage to his vehicle caused by the work carried out by a private contractor.

[Dark One]

Danger - falling pears

Council officials in Worcester have put up signs warning people of falling pears.

Two pear trees have been cordoned off in case their fruit falls on people at Cripplegate Park, St John's.

Signs have been screwed into each tree saying: "Warning, pears falling!"

The 30ft trees have stood in a city park for 50 years without any problems.

Officials acted after receiving a complaint the trees are a health hazard. The council fears it could be sued if anyone is injured by a pear.

The trees produce large black pears that weigh about 1lb each, reports The Sun.

Local man Barry Cox, 40, said: "This is a crazy waste of time and money. It seems people aren't credited with common sense any more. Next thing they will be issuing people with hard hats before they enter the park."

The council's parks and cemeteries manager Ian Yates said: "There are some sizeable pears and not everyone is going to be passing thinking a pear might fall on them, especially children.

"These signs divert people away from the danger. This is a lot cheaper than having a no-win, no-fee solicitor taking us to court."

[Dark One]

Love is in the air

A man who fell in love with a fellow passenger onboard a flight got the airline to help him track her down.

Michael Young fell for Juliet Lever on a Flybe flight from Belfast to Newcastle.

Juliet, who was in seat 2B, and Michael, who was in 2C, hit it off instantly - but Michael was too shy to ask Juliet for her number.

He pined for her so much after they parted that he contacted the airline and begged bosses to ask her to get in touch.

They obliged and Juliet, 29, phoned him - and agreed to go on a date. After a whirlwind romance, they are to get married next month.

Michael, whose home was in Northern Ireland, was on a business trip to the North East.

According to The Sun, he said: "We chatted for the duration of the flight but we never got round to asking if the other was single. That's probably the reason I didn't pluck up the courage to ask Juliet for her number. Flybe were great and eventually got us together."

Juliet, who now lives with Michael in Manchester, said: "Every girl dreams of a fairytale romance and you couldn't get better than this."

Flybe customer relations boss Ella Jones said: "Michael's tale pulled heart strings so we played cupid."

[Dark One]

Man unhappy to pay ex-wife - now she's a man

A Florida man is fighting to stop paying maintenance to his ex-wife - because she's now a man.

Lawrence Roach, of Seminole, says his ex-wife has had a sex swap op and is now living as a man.

He says he should be allowed stop paying his £650 monthly alimony payments, reports Bay News 9.

"This isn't right. It's humiliating to me and degrading," he said.

"You know, I'm a man and I don't want to be paying alimony to a man. If you can't be married to a man legally, how can you legally pay alimony to a man?"

Roach and his ex-wife, who Bay News 9 did not identify, divorced 18 months ago after being married for more than 17 years.

[Dark One]

Darts league bans sex swap player

A darts player has been thrown out of her ladies' league - because she used to be a man.

Christine Makin, formerly Clive, had to quit her team after 17 out of 25 rival sides protested, reports the Sun.

Christine, 51, was married for 13 years as a man but became a woman through a series of sex-change operations.

Christine was thrown out under Rule 35, which states: "Under no circumstances can any person of any gender play in the league unless that person was born a female."

Christine said: "I'm a bit surprised. It's not the 1920s or 30s, it's 2006. It's unfair. I play in the women's pool league and there's no problem."

Christine, who played for the Fountain Pub in Leek, added: "I was a woman trapped inside a man's body until my surgery put me right. I can't understand why other women were so upset."

League chairwoman Thelma Ferns said they were in a "difficult position".

She said: "We need to seek professional advice before we comment further. There are leagues that cater for both men and women but ours is women only."

[Dark One]

Customs discover vodka pipeline

Russian customs officers say they have discovered a mile long pipeline that was pumping vodka to Latvia.

Border cops in Buholovo, on the border, said the tunnel had been laid six feet underground by crooks to pump home-made vodka across the border. It was then sold in Latvia.

But the pipeline was discovered when local council workers started digging holes to plant trees in the area.

Yakov Kabanov, of the local border police, said: "We had our suspicions that there was someone running hooch across the border here but we could never figure out how they managed it.

"They probably would have got away with it for decades if those trees hadn't been planted as well."

Officers are questioning people in Buholovo about the pipeline, which ran between two rented houses that were empty when they were raided.

[Dark One]

Boy, 14, too big for his rugby boots

A 14-year-old boy can no longer play rugby - because he can't find boots for his size 18 feet.

Carl Griffiths, who has beaten leukaemia, believes the chemotherapy and steroid treatment are responsible for his 17ins feet, reports the Mirror.

The 6ft 3in school boy said: "My feet have grown two sizes this year and are still growing. I've tried everywhere to get boots but they only make them to size 15."

His security guard dad Wayne, 38, said: "We think the growth spurt is due to the treatments. We've mentioned it to the consultant. They are puzzled."

Wayne and Carl's mum Michelle, 36, have since bought size 17 trainers from the US - the only footwear that fits.

Carl, of Trimsaran, near Llanelli, was eight when he was diagnosed with leukaemia.

His feet are double the average British man - but late US actor Matthew McGrory had size 29s.

[Dark One]

Britain's most boring job?

A North Wales man has the most boring job in Britain - and says he loves it!

Keith Jackson spends his days watching paint dry, reports the Daily Mirror.

Mr Jackson, 57, stares at the surface for hours, occasionally prodding it with his finger to see how it's getting on.

He explained: "It's particularly important. We made the paint for the floors of the London Underground. It could only be put on from 3am to 5am.

"Once down it had to dry hard enough and fast enough for people to walk on."

Mr Jackson is technical manager for Aquatic Coatings in Wrexham, North Wales.

Director Anthony Kershaw said: "Drying speed is crucial. Keith times how long it takes."

[Dark One]

Mystery man baffles authorities

A mystery man arrested for breaking into the same house three times in Wales is baffling the authorities.

Police and immigration officials have no idea of the man's name, age, nationality - or what language he speaks.

Magistrates at Llanelli were told he had broken into the same house, near Ammanford, three times, washed himself, cooked food, and stole a sewing kit.

The man, who appeared to be in his 30s with dark receding hair and olive skin, was remanded in custody as no plea could be taken.

Laura Carthew, prosecuting, said: "A map of the world has been offered to the defendant with no response."

She also said they presented him with flags from all the countries in the world, but this met with a similar response.

He has briefly spoken once in a language thought to be Amharic, but when a translator was called they said they did not understand him and had no clue to the dialect he was speaking.

The man's solicitor Mike Reed said in his 30 years' experience he had never come across a similar situation.

He said that in a previous hearing, the court heard how writing in a book apparently discarded by the man had been identified as belonging to a "small tribe at the bottom of the Atlas mountains" in Morocco.

[Cat-Eyes]

Whereever you get these from the editors at mX must head there a lot, half of these have ended up in there. I read the bit about the paint drying man, the mystery man and alimony man in mX on Friday!

However, they're still hilarious!

[Lauren Hedgehog]

The IgNobel Awards - which are basically a take off of the Nobel Prize - were anounced last Thursday. The winners were:

ORNITHOLOGY: Ivan R. Schwab, for exploring and explaining why woodpeckers don't get headaches.

NUTRITION: Wasmia Al-Houty, for showing that dung beetles are finicky eaters

PEACE: Howard Stapleton, for inventing an electromechanical teenager repellant -- a device that makes annoying noise designed to be audible to teenagers but not to adults

ACOUSTICS: D. Lynn Halpern, Randolph Blake and James Hillenbrand, for conducting experiments to learn why people dislike the sound of fingernails scraping on a blackboard.

MATHEMATICS: Nic Svenson and Piers Barnes, for calculating the number of photographs you must take to (almost) ensure that nobody in a group photo will have their eyes closed

LITERATURE: Daniel Oppenheimer for his report "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly."

MEDICINE: Francis M. Fesmire, for his medical case report "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage"

PHYSICS: Basile Audoly and Sebastien Neukirch, for their insights into why, when you bend dry spaghetti, it often breaks into more than two pieces

CHEMISTRY: Antonio Mulet, José Javier Benedito and José Bon and Carmen Rosselló for their study "Ultrasonic Velocity in Cheddar Cheese as Affected by Temperature.

BIOLOGY: Bart Knols and Ruurd de Jong for showing that the female malaria mosquito Anopheles gambiae is attracted equally to the smell of limburger cheese and to the smell of human feet.

[Dark One]

Lol! Some people have too much time and money!

Mum's permanent birthday reminder

A Welsh mum who kept forgetting her five kids' birthdays has had the dates tattooed on her arm.

Vanda Jones, 49, said she now knows exactly when to buy pressies and cards for Alwen, 18, Grace, 16, Rhian, 14, Lowri, 13, and 12-year-old Vernon.

The housewife, from Penygroes, near Caernarfon, said: "Whenever I took my kids to the health clinic, I could never remember their birthdays off the top of my head, so I had their initials and date of birth tattooed on my arms.

"It's much easier because I just have to look at my arm and I don't forget."

She also has the Welsh dragon and the words Wedi'i wneud yn Nghymru ('Made in Wales') across her chest, reports the Daily Post.

[Dark One]

£308,000 Starship Enterprise model

A model of the Starship Enterprise used in the Star Trek TV series has sold for £308,000, 20 times the estimate.

The 78in model, which made its television debut in 1987 and was also used in the pilot and title sequences of Star Trek: The Next Generation, was auctioned as part of a collection of sets and props.

The three-day sale of around 1,000 items from CBS Paramount Television Studios made more than £3.8 million, twice the expected takings, reports the Telegraph.

The buyer of the Starship Enterprise, which Christie's auction house had expected to fetch between £13,000 and £18,000, was a US collector who bid by telephone and kept his identity secret.

Hundreds of fans, dressed as characters from the series, packed Christie's main salesroom in Manhattan for the sale while staff donned Trek-style costumes to take telephone bids.

Among the items sold were pointy Vulcan ears, elaborate masks and a model of a Klingon Bird of Prey ship, which made £214,000, more than 30 times the estimate.

The most paid for a costume was £104,000, for a Dr McCoy space suit used in the episode The Tholian Web.

A replica of Captain James T Kirk's command chair fetched £33,300.

[Dark One]

Ancient brain surgery

Bulgarian archaeologists claim to have unearthed evidence that brain surgery was carried out more than 4,000 years ago.

Georgi Nehrizov, heading a team digging near the city of Svilengrad, said a skull belonging to a man who lived in Thracian times had been found with a hole in it that had been carved out with surgical precision.

He said: "The skull dates back to 2500-1800 BC and the hole had clearly been made for medical reasons. It is the first such discovery from Thracian times."

The Thracians were a nation made up of numerous tribes that developed from a mixture of invading Indo-European and indigenous peoples in the Balkans over the centuries, starting from the Early Bronze Age.

They figure in the Iliad as allies of the Trojans, hailing from Thrace.

[Dark One]

Man used snake as car alarm

A Serb man who left a 6ft snake inside his car because he couldn't afford an alarm has been arrested after it escaped.

Radovan Darkic, a pet shop owner from Belgrade, left the snake in his E-Class Mercedes every evening to make sure no one would steal it.

But he was forced to call the police when he found it had slithered its way out through an open window and into the engine compartment. He was arrested by officers for endangering public safety.

He said: "I only wanted to make sure that even if I couldn't take revenge on anyone who dared to rob my car then at least the snake could do it for me."

[Dark One]

Scientists develop robot flies

Military scientists in Britain are developing robot flies that could be sent to spy out enemy positions.

Project leader Dr Rafal Zbikowski believes the first machine insects could fly within ten years, reports the Scotsman.

He has already produced a non-airborne prototype that mimics the wing-beats of a hover fly.

Dr Zbikowski says the tiny drones could operate in confined and cluttered spaces within buildings, stairwells, tunnels or caves.

They could help locate hidden terrorists, or find victims of natural disasters such as earthquakes.

The US military, which is partly funding the research, has even expressed an interest in using the robots to deliver small explosive charges.

They would be the ultimate "smart" weapon, able to destroy a specific target - such as a computer - without having to bomb whole facilities.

Dr Zbikowski is based at the Defence College of Management and Technology at Cranfield University in Shrivenham, Oxfordshire.