I am SO mad right now!!!

[Dameon]

Stupid jerk friend!!!

Had a fight with my friend last night. He insulted me VERY deeply and heaped excrement upon my beliefs! Also, gave me an anxiety attack, so I couldn't sleep!!!!

I called him this morning to talk it through. He seems sorry, but he's also VERY PATRONISING!!!!! It was like he was only apologising to make me stop moaning. He's like that. All my friends treat me like a ditzy moron, but he's the worst!!!

I told him I wasn't mad! BUT I REALLY AM!!! He was offensive, and he said something that was deeply cutting at one point. I mean, OUCH!!! There are some things you just DO NOT use as an argument!

NOT HAPPY!!!!

*grumble grumble moan*

Am still in mid-anxiety attack! Must talk to best friend. She will help. She's good at it!!!

KSL

[Elspethseeker]

Oh dear I hope allgets better sorry there is nothing really can do! What did he nsult you on? If you don't mind!

[Dameon]

Well...

I suffer from depression and anxiety, and so I have a little trouble leaving the house. It's nothing serious, I can go to Uni and work no fuss, it's just I don't like going out much.

Anyway, he brought that up. And he just said it in a really cutting way and I was really offended, especially because he doesn't understand the problem.

People have so much trouble GETTING depression, and I just hate it when people treat me like it's my fault, or like I'm crazy, or whatever!

KSL

[Elspethseeker]

It's not your fualt shame on him! I am appalled

[Dameon]

It's complicated.

People are scared of what they don't understand, and he doesn't understand why I don't go to stacks of parties and hang out in pubs like all my friends.

He's worried that there's something wrong with me, but he wastes his time looking for new problems without ever stopping to say, "Oh yeah! She's just depressed!"

He does this stuff because he's concerned, but I just want people to SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

It's MY problem!!! I can deal with it!!! It's so annoying that every random is suddenly a psychologist! It's REALLY irritating!

I KNOW THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO HELP BUT I REALLYWISH THEY WOULDN'T!!!

KSL

[Elspethseeker]

Hmm that is too bad sit it down and explain it to him he might understand it better

[Dameon]

You'd THINK that, wouldn't you??

I've written a play. I really hope it goes some way toward explaining how I feel. But it's still not quite right.

*sigh*

I guess it's just hard to understand until you've been there. And even then it's hard, because it's different for different people.

KSL

[Elspethseeker]

Hey i ahve had my problem in life but not here. Look for my IM

[Squarmi]

Kayt said:

I guess it's just hard to understand until you've been there. And even then it's hard, because it's different for different people.

KSL

And also some people just don't want to understand. I don't really know what to say except that when I'm in this kind of situation I just leave it for a few days. Give both of you time to cool off and then get together or phone and talk about it and try to explain calmly. Hopefully then he won't be as patronising and you can think properly to try explain how you feel cause you can never think properly when you're angry. But do whatever you think best. The play sounds really interesting.

Squarmi

[Elspethseeker]

Whatever you choose to do I hope it all works out into your favor tell us the results.

[Lol]

Yeah, the attitude a lot of people have to depression is really frustrating. They think they understand, but saying things like that proves how much they fail to grasp what is actually happening. What are the statistics? I think it's one in five Australians will suffer from depression at some stage in their lives.

Anyway, I hope things work out with your friend.

[Dameon]

Hey hey!!!

I've spent a considerable part of the morning on the phone to my best friend. She says that the guilty party is full of it and that i must ignore what he says

which is just what i think

he gave me that anxiety attack, unintentionally of course, but i'm still mad at him for it. and i'm just annoyed because he's sooooooooooooo patronising, and nearly all my friends patronise me, because I'm different from them all. I don't go out and party, I'm not obsessed with dating (exactly the opposite!) and because I think differently.

Also, he's one of those preachy people. He thinks he's really superior, and he's self-righteous. What he objects to about my lifestyle is not that it's weird (which it ISN'T) but that he considers it to be WRONG!!!

THAT'S WHAT ANNOYS ME!!! I respect what he believes. But he not only refuses to respect my beliefs, but actively bad mouths them!!!

Argh!!!!!!!

KSL

[Seagull Fred]

*hugs Kayt* Hello, dear kindred spirit! I'm glad to say that I don't have depression and anxiety (clinically, anyway) BUT I know exactly how you feel about people thinking that going out and living the night life and stuff is the only way to live. Give me a good book or a Cirque du Soleil show or a stupid, seen-it-100-times-before movie on tv any time!

I like my knitting, and my bed-time cuppa tea, and I like listening to my dad commentate on why the people on the tv screen are doing completely the wrong thing (esp in a drama) and having to keep reminding him its Hollywood...

So, yeah, although I can't give you much in the way of advice, I just wanted to let you know that as far as I'm concerned, you've got a good head on yer shoulders

I actually have a friend who's been diagnosed with clinical depression - methinks it's genetic - and I've another friend who used to have anxiety attacks all through the HSC. For me, it's not scary simply coz I don't understand but it's more coz I want to help, but know I'm almost helpless. Maybe that's a type of not understanding, but it's not coz I don't want to...anyway, I'd truly appreciate any info anyone can throw my way...I know it's different in every circumstance, but maybe there are some helpful pointers, like catch phrases to avoid (like the "I understand" thing - I WISH!!!!) or whether to be bright and chirpy via email, or be more sedated...

All the best, matey. Keep us posted on how it goes, yeah?

Cheerio,

Lauren

[Dameon]

THanks for the support gang!!!

Lauren, Awareness Issues are REALLY HUGELY important to me, so if you have any question, please feel absolutely free to email me anytime. I would be happy to help you better understand the problems people with Depression face.

And that goes for anyone else, too!

KSL

[Lix]

bah people suck!

says me whos studying tourism
oh well i can be nice to them when i want to

[Min]

Kayt, he doesn't sound like a very good friend at all.

My brother suffers from depression and is on medication at the moment, but he still can't deal with it. Actually...had a scare with him this weekend and am a little freaked at what he told me.
But that aside, anyone who patronises you in my mind isn't a friend. He's not doing it because he's trying to help - how does that help?!
*hugs* your best friend seems to be helping out at least please don't hang around with people who make you feel bad.

[Squarmi]

Here here to what everyone else said. I love watching the same movie a million times. Admittedly I also love to go out to the pub with my friends and party (I think it's the dancing that gets me... I [glow=red,2,300]LOVE[/glow]to dance. Anytime of day or night.) But there's more to life than partying, and if you don't enjoy partying then you shouldn't do it cause it's a waste of time. Do whatever makes you happy and try not to worry about anyone who doesn't respect the fact that not everyone's the same.

I don't have clinical depression myself, but I go through real down periods and I have a friend who used to have depression. And I have anxiety attacks too. Had one it a practical exam in May that was worth 40% and failed very very very badly. Have to pass the next exam (next week) with flying colours to pass that subject. Different I know, but ....

I'd love to understand more about depression cause I think my Mum had it. I'd really like to read the play that you mentioned if you don't mind.

Squarmi

[Dameon]

Sure, ya'll can read my play

It's a comedy. It has to be, because that's the way to get through to my audience (12-16) but the underlying theme is Depression and how people don't understand it.

I can't put it up here, so if anyone would like to read it, send me an email, so I can send it as an attachment

[e-mail] is my address

Squarmi, and anyone else who wants a copy, just drop me a line and I'll send it off post-haste

It's called "The Scent of Lilac, Darling" by the way. We're nearly ready to perform it around the Canberra schools. I play Optimism!

KSL

[Marija]

Kayt said:

It's complicated.

People are scared of what they don't understand, and he doesn't understand why I don't go to stacks of parties and hang out in pubs like all my friends.

KSL

<sigh> I don't understand why people run around say we are individuals and then freak out when you actually ACT different from everyone else. <huggles> Maybe you should just let him know that you understand he is concrned, but that you want to deal with stuff by yourself. And perhaps remind him that all the stuff that makes you different from everyone else is what makes you special

[Kaylan r]

Well,It's hard for me to say this too (especially over the internet!) but,well,I suffered from depression too.In year eight! one year ago!
But it was so hard because I couldn't tell my friends.

Anywayz,three weeks ago I told my friend Boyd.He understood so much.
I still haven't told my friends yet.....but I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

[~Dani~]

Hey Kaylan, I am in year 9 as well
But I live in QLD, so I am only 14 this year

[Dameon]

Kaylan, I know how it feels not to be able to explain it to people.

Remember, there are plenty of people here who understand.

KSL

[Miska]

most deffinately hun! way to many of us no! if u need to talk bout anything just do! we;re here for u! *grugs and kisses*...*hand over choco*

[Swallow]

Lauren said:

I actually have a friend who's been diagnosed with clinical depression - methinks it's genetic -

Spot on, Lauren, it is genetic, for the most part. Some people do suffer it without having a family history, they tend to get it from outside events in their lives, but a lot of sufferers come from a family of it.

You just have to look at mine. You can actually trace it back through my father's side. And all three of the children in my family have it! Mine's the weirdest one, though, because you can't explain mine away. I have no reason to be the way that I am, i just am. There was never a trigger event for me, like there is for plenty of people.... so frankly, i'm screwed in the head. And don't worry Kaylen, i was first tentivly diagnosed with it when i was in year 8 as well.

And I'm with Kayt, what i find frustrating is trying to tell people about it and get them to understand. I have depression, it's as simple as that. I have days when getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do. But getting friends who don't have it to understand, is difficult. I suppose it's because i put on a d**n good show of hiding it. Only one of my friends has ever seen me have a complete crash. Not Kayt, she's seen me in the middle of one, or on the edges of it, but i get these moments where i completly sink. You can't talk to me, you can't get me to do anything, i won't respond, i'll just sit, and nothing can get me out of it. I will sit and stare at a wall for.... well, my record is 6 hours. One of my friends was around when i did this when we were out clubbing. Usually my friends rely on me to tell others to sod off, but while this was happening, i couldn't, and we attracted right wierdos. She told me it was brought on by the drink, but by that stage i was sober, and i've been drunker before and never gotten there. No, this was brought on by particular events of that night, and i talked myself into it.
So no one sees it, and no one can understand unless they do, or they suffer from it as well. Mind you, one of my friends doesn't understand, but goes out of her way to make sure I'm okay. She's really funny. I was staying with her for a few days, and whenever i went quiet for a long time she'd ask "Are you okay? Are you sure you're okay? Do you want chocolate? We can go get chocolate." Which i think is the best i'm ever going to get to get people to understand.....

sheesh, i've talked for a long while... mmmm.......

[Vespertine]

You know what? I completely understand where you're coming from. I have kinda bad depression, in more than one form, plus one or two other things, and they've been provoked by stupid people who don't understand at all, so many times. I had an ex-boyfriend who just didn't get it, and so when he had me in a crying fit where I couldn't even talk, hiding my head and face, and things like that, he would just get angry and yell at me and make it worse. I've had really good friends who've been like that too. Explanations don't really make much sense because they just end up thinking you're some kind of retard. They just need to read up on it, or at least be more patient, because I think we really need them at times like this, rather than having them attack us.