Bumper stickers

[Aurian]

Just had to postthese somewhere...wow...really procrastinating now hehe (Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether)

* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
* I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out
* I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
* Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
* Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
* Me a skeptic? I hope you have proof.
* I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
* I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
* Couldn't afford to fix my brakes, so I made my horn louder.
* I'm not a complete Idiot, some parts are missing.
* Black Holes Suck.
* Don't steal, the Government hates competition.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
* All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
* OK, so what's the speed of dark?
* Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

k...im done

cheers
Aur

[Rilla]

;D hehehe... lol...

[Megana]

Hehe, I was going to amke a bumper sitcker for my car that said - "P plater with permanent PMS. Cut me off at your own risk." - but decided against it.

ooooo! I have a poster in my room that full of "Murphy's law" Quotes. Give me a second to copy it out, and I'll be right back. They are so funny!




Alright, I'm back. Just bear with me while I type this up. There are quite a few of them.

* Never eat prunes when you are famished.
* All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.
* Where you stanbd on an issue dependds on where you sit.
* Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
* If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.
* A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
* Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
* No good deed goes unpunished.
* Leakproof seals - will.
* Self starters - will not.
* Interchangeable parts - won't.
* There is always one more bug.
* Nature is a mother.
* Don't mess with Mrs Murphy!
* 90% of everything is crud.
* If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.
* You will always find something in the last place that you look.
* You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.
* The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
* Teh race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
* No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you have bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
* There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
* When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
* No ones life, liberty, or property are safe while the legistature is in session.
* Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
* The other line always moves faster.
* It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
* In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it.
* A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
* Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
* Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
* If you fool around with something for very long, you will screw it up.
* Everything west of Alice Springs will eventually plunge into the Indian Ocean.
* A $300 picture tube will protect a 10c fuse by blowing first.
* Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
* If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
* The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamps of an oncoming train.
* Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact centre.
* Celibacy is not hereditary.
* The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
* Never sleep with anyone crazier that yourself.
* When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
* Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.
* To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression. (Freudian Psychology)
* A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
* Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
* Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
* A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
* If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what teh hell is going on.
* Everyone has a sceme for getting rich that will not work.
* Everybody should believe in something - I believe I'll have another drink.
* If more than one person is responcible for a misscalculation, no one will be at fault.
* In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
* In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
* Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.

Wow, that took longer than I thought!

[Miska]

hehehe i love them all!! now ill have to find some of my own:P

[Aurian]

OOH lol I liked the pms one megana!
And so many of those murphy's law ones are true, specially "No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you have bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper." ...that happens to me a lot!

cheers!

luv,
Aur
~the friendly wanderer

[Arien]

lol! ;D i love them!! hahaha. i have a few thingos like that, but they be saved on the other computer...*pout*

[Rilla]

lmao!!! ;D

[Megana]

Aurien, I totally agree! The other one which is so true is 'the other line always moves faster'. I work on checkouts, and I see this happen to people all the time. They change lanes, thinking that they can get through quicker, and something always goes wrong. Hehe, it's so funny to watch! ;D

[Talmina]

my friends parents have just bought him some sort of jeep thing, and im planning on buying him a "do not overtake overturning vehicle" sticker, cos those things tend to roll.

heres some others ive got on my comp

I hate bumper stickers!
There are two kinds of drivers; those who make dust & those who eat it..
On the other hand...you have different fingers!
Keep honking, I am reloading!.
Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ.
This is not an abandoned car.
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
No Radio - Already Stolen!
Don't laugh it's paid for.

0-60 in 15 minutes!
I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.
Hang up and drive!
DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.
I believe the Internet is an information source, not a lifestyle choice.
I'm not really a driver I just play one on TV!
Study long study wrong.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!
Save the planet recycle an environmentalist.
If you can read this you're in range.
Your child may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
I don't drive fast I fly low.
When there's a will I want to be in it!
FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA -- AND STEP ON IT !!
Hogwarts Dropout
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure you have enough to spare!
never judge a girl by her bumper sticker.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Talk only if you can improve on the silence.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Be the kind of person you always wanted your parents to be.
Try it sober!
Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.
Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.
Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
I'd rather be a failure at something i love, than a success at something i hate
When i want your opinion i'll beat it out of you.
Oh look! just 2,852,677 more days til i start caring what you think.
Don't start with me..you won't win!
Get over it!
I'd love to trade caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q."
Your such a Muggle!
Screw you guys, I'm goin home!
My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the answers to the test.
Stop global whining.
Your village called, they are missing an idiot!
Not a RULES type of girl.
Don't make me go medieval on you.

there are still more but i think this post is getting too long.

anyway bye

jess - the chicken wanderer

[Megana]

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." Hehe, I love that one! oooo, I have a shirt that says "Your village called. They want their idiot back." I love it! Bummper stickers rule!

[Lix]

what about my credit card no. is (microscopic numbers)

[Bobbi]

haha! i like the "your village called. they want their idiot back" ive seen it on a tshirt. its so funny!!!

[Lix]

tiz rather funny
if they paid u to be a villiage idiot id leap at the chance!!! i can pull goofy expresions. would that work in my favour?

[Miska]

hahah they are sooo good! well here are mine:

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The things that come to those that wait are the things left by those who got in first.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

[Megana]

Hehe, funny! ;D

And OMG! How did you get so many stars Miska!?

[Elspethseeker]

All very good hehehehehehe but I haven't seen any lately that are good.

[Miska]

u no megana i dont no! but arent they pretty!!!!! i think im addicted to them!

[Megana]

*Starts counting* one....two...three....*continues on until she reaches seven* I still only have three. But tha could be cos I haven't been here for a while.......

[Elspeth]

I saw a magnet once (which is almost a bumper sticker) and it read: Behind every successful man is an astonished woman. It gave me quite a chuckle but there's no obligation for anyone else to laugh.

In other news, I want Megana's village idiot t-shirt.

[Elspethseeker]

One of my friends saw a good shirt becuase one of her other friends complained a lot to her.
It went something like this:
I don't want to hear your issues so i am canceling my subsciption.
Pretty good if not a little mean.
I like you quote from the magnet.